A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many
women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
______________________________
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy
suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided
to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on
Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to
stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." ______________________________
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer
at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes,
as we forgive those who passed trash against us." ____________________________
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ______________________________
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon
dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother
and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money $$$now, will he
let us go?"
______________________________
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay
with you guys!"
______________________________
Terri asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures
of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by
Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so
she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must
be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the
fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"
______________________________
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me
frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to.
My mom is a good cook."
______________________________
A college drama group presented a play in which one
character would stand on a trap door and announce,"I descend into
hell!"
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the
trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing
the part became ill, another actor who was quite
overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand
pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but
became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on
the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
______________________________
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap
as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the
book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was
alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
Church jokes
by MsMcDucket 2 Replies latest social humour
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MsMcDucket
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Y I Man
What did the vicar say when he saw his church on fire?
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Holy smoke!
Sorry
-
ania
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap
as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the
book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was
alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"That's gorgeous