Ringo, thanks for bringing this up. Here is one of my favorites from his lecture 'Some Mistakes of Moses' illustrating the absurdity of literal belief vs. unbelief:
Let me show you the result of unbelief. Let us suppose, for a
moment, that we are at the Day of Judgment, listening to the trial
of souls as they arrive. The Recording Secretary, or whoever does
the cross-examining, says to a soul:
Where are you from?
I am from the Earth.
What kind of a man were you?
Well, I don't like to talk about myself. I suppose you can
tell by looking at your books.
No, sir. You must tell what kind of a man you were.
Well, I was what you might call a first-rate fellow. I loved
my wife and children. My home was my heaven. My fireside was a
paradise to me. To sit there and see the lights and shadows fall
upon the faces of those I loved, was to me a perfect joy.
How did you treat your family?
I never said an unkind word. I never caused my wife, nor one
of my children, a moment's pain.
Did you pay your debts?
I did not owe a dollar when I died, and left enough to pay my
funeral expenses, and to keep the fierce wolf of want from the door
of those I loved.
Did you belong to any church?
No, sir. They were too narrow, pinched and bigoted for me, I
never thought that I could be very happy if other folks were
damned.
Did you believe in eternal punishment?
Well, no. I always thought that God could get his revenge in
far less time.
Did you believe the rib story?
Do you mean the Adam and Eve business?
Yes! Did you believe that?
To tell you the God's truth, that was just a little more than
I could swallow.
Away with him to hell!
Next!
Where are you from?
I am from the world too.
Did you belong to any church?
Yes, sir, and to the Young Men's Christian Association
besides.
What was your business?
Cashier in a Savings Bank.
Did you ever run away with any money?
Where I came from, a witness could not be compelled to
criminate himself.
The law is different here. Answer the question. Did you run
away with any money?
Yes, sir.
How much?
One hundred thousand dollars.
Did you take anything else with you?
Yes, sir.
Well, what else?
I took my neighbor's wife -- we sang together in the choir.
Did you have a wife and children of your own?
Yes, sir.
And you deserted them?
Yes, sir, but such was my confidence in God that I believed he
would take care of them.
Have you heard of them since?
No, sir.
Did you believe in the rib story?
Bless your soul, of course I did. A thousand times I regretted
that there were no harder stories in the Bible, so that I could
have shown my wealth of faith.
Do you believe the rib story yet?
Yes, with all my heart.
Give him a harp!
