"When Does it Get better? Getting Past the Deconversion Process".

scout575

"Thought I'd start a thread about deconversion and invite some senior Ex-Cs to give their thoughts on the process. I've noticed that a lot of recent threads are about the problems newbies are having, from doubts, fear of hell, alienation from family members, losing old friends, etc. Some long-time deconvertees especially seem to have had a hard time adjusting to life on the 'outside'."

"Anyone have any encouraging words or helpful advice for those just deconverting? ( or considering it ), especially those who were in the cult for a long time?" ( A recent thread from: ExChristian.net/ ex-Christian life ).

AK - Jeff

Are you asking - or just posting the thread from another forum as interesting?

Jeff

garybuss

Institutionalized lifetime members like me sometimes have symptoms not unlike post exit syndrome of the kind institutionalized prisoners who are released from prison experience. Is this what you are writing about? Or something else like religious confusion?

I've never searched for the "right" Jesus. I didn't even know he was lost.

joe_black

What you call "deconversion" I term "debrainwashing"....it takes longer for some than others, everyone comes out thinking the very same thoughts you mentioned in your post. Myself, growing up in the religion, never baptised, but having a very strict JW mother who still is "in" along with three siblings, I still have a very hard time getting away from it all, because it is still "in my face" so to speak, everytime I see them. My suggestion to those that want to leave for good is get away from it completely, even if you have to remove yourself from family members. Forums such as these help to look at the religion in a clear view, not muddled with the WT rhetoric, but please research what you're reading. In other words, if someone on here yells "the tower is burning, the tower is burning!" don't belive it until you see it for yourself.

jaguarbass

Anyone have any encouraging words or helpful advice for those just deconverting? ( or considering it ), especially those who were in the cult for a long time?" ( A recent thread from: ExChristian.net/ ex-Christian life ).

I was in the cult for 33 years. Ive been out of the cult for 23 years. My encouraging words are deconverting, deprograming, life in general, its all a do it yourself thing. Now as when you were a jw it is up to you what you want to put into your mind. I wish I could tell you there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I cant, but I will give you this.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.