I think I have lost my friend...

brunhilda40

I posted earlier regarding my friend who is a JW that I have spent time with first as a work association, and then as just a friend. She has a lesbian daughter and me being a lesbian was able to help her understand some of her daughters lifestyle. I spent time staying at her home when I was in the area, had what I thought was a good relationship with her husband. Her kids really liked me.... On my last visit her husband went off the deepend ( mind you he has not attended a meeting in 2years and has brought lots of "wordly" friends in the home that smokes and drinks ect..) and told her that she could not associate with me. As described in an earlier post titled "I have a question" which you can reference for details.

My friend said it would be ok to text message her since her husband does not know how to do that on her phone. Yesterday I got a simple message DO NOT TEXT ME. I guess this is it....So am I now considered satan's messenger, is she in trouble with the elders... have they taken her to JW court and humiliated her???? She is in such an horrible marriage which our association actually is the least of her problems, since she has confided details to me. I am so angry and hurt right now I can't even begin to describe what I feel.... Thanx for listening.

hambeak

Brunhilda I can feel your loss and pain. I was a jw for more than thirty years. I hope you can understand her dilemma. Until she leaves either her marriage or the org. she will be torn and there is nothing you can do. If her husband hasn't attended in 2 years chances are he has said nothing to the cong. He may feel uneasy with his wife having a gay friend. I know because I am gay. I lost all of my family and friends when they found out. So give her space send her a card to her workplace once in a while to let her know you are still there for her and you never know what the future holds.

Peace Gary

Sunspot

She is in such an horrible marriage which our association actually is the least of her problems, since she has confided details to me. I am so angry and hurt right now I can't even begin to describe what I feel....

(((Brunhilda)))

As you can see, despite its claims to be Christian, the Watchtower Society is a cold and demanding book publishing company pretending to be a religion. It cares nothing of human emotions, but only keeps their followers whipped up with their phony promises of a Paradis Earth, and keeps them in dire fear of pleasing the Watchtowergod if they don't do enough "preaching" to gain more converts who will buy their books, or don't blindly obey each and every rule they have made up.

Perhaps the fact that you have been told so much about her marriage etc, has made her scared that it "may come out" and make her even more unhappy than she already is. This is not your fault---but hers.

I can understand your anger and your hurt. YOU have tried to be a good friend to her.....but she seems to be drowning in a sea of problems that have nothing to do with you. The idea of letting her know that you still care to be her friend, (by card, email or whatever) is a good one, and then let it be. The ball is in her court and she will have to make some decisions when her head clears a bit. Be prepared to be there when she falls apart and hopefully leaves the WTS.

hugs,

Annie

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Dang Brunhilda, you have an awesome handle. I am so sorry about this situation w/ your friend, it sucks.

Hugs.

BabaYaga

First of all, WELCOME to the forum, Brunhilda!

Secondly, so sorry this is happening to you. As her husband sounds like a jackass, he more than likely feels terribly threatened by you and because of his behaviour he probably should feel threatened, I'm certain your friend likes spending time with you much more than she does with him!

That doesn't minimize the hurt, but that's what the J-Dubs are all about, I'm so sorry to say. HURT HURT HURT in the name of the schizophrenic old-testament god. agh. It just goes on and on.

The suggestion about sending a card is a lovely one... do you two still work together? If you could get a card or letter to her to let her know that you will always be there if she needs to/wants to talk...

Inquisitor

From what you've said, it doesn't sound like she is in any serious trouble. At most she's been given the heebie-jeebies about gays and/or worldly associates.

Hmmm... give her some time and space and try contacting her in about 3 months.

You never know how a person's circumstances might change so that she becomes more receptive to ~~the Truth~~ your friendship. Gee I wonder where that typo came from??

INQ