I open my mouth and "bleah" comes out

by Seeking Knowledge 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Seeking Knowledge

  I'm pretty "new" to this religious thing. I've always had my beliefs and I've been to just about every church there is to go to (except JW) and they all basically preach the same thing in different ways. Fine, I can deal with that. I'm happy, I know what I know, I believe what I want to believe and no one has ever really challenged me on that.

  Until now. My son is 5 and his father is a JW. For the past 3 years since his father remarried, I've had quite the emotional ride as to what he's teaching my son and how do I "counteract" his nonsense? It's been so very interesting, but when it comes down to it, I open my mouth & it's as if it's full of oatmeal or something...nothing comes out right. Even when I've tried to talk to his dad about his BS I sound like an idiot. I am such a novice!

  I know what I want to say, but when I try to express it to my kid, he looks at me as tho I have 2 heads. I'm pretty sure he could give a rip at this point who Jehovah is or what he does or doesn't do and I've resorted to telling him that daddy does things one way, but when he's with me, we do it this way. That includes birthdays, halloween, Christmas you name it. He's all for that as I don't know of any kids out there who don't like to get gifts that "have a choice" as he does.

  His father has lost his ever loving mind as you can all attest to growing up in this crazy religion, but his father never had the choice as a child to have another side of life to look at. My son does and I intend to challenge his little head so that he does know he has a choice and will be able to make up his mind as to what he wants to believe. Above all he will know that he is loved by his mom & sister and everyone on our side no matter what.

  Just had to rant. It's so frustrating to deal with stupidity on a daily basis & try to protect my son from it. On the upside the other day he told me he didn't want to go "to that dumb ol boring Kingdom Hall" again. Maybe I'm doing something right!?

  SK
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  dobbie

  Hi Sk my little boy keeps asking me why we don't go to meetings anymore, and wants me to talk about jehovah and jesus and tells me they are definately there, i know this is coming from jw children he sees.It is hard so all i tell him is that some people think there is a god and others do not know, and also that if we went to meetings he can't celebrate birthdays etc. There's not a lot you can say at this age for them to understand fully but just by searching the net and places like this you can find out so much stuff which as he gets older might come in handy to try and 'dejunk' the jw thoughts that he might pick up from the meetings.I know this is probably not much help but i just wanted you to know you are not alone - when my little boy talks about it all i freeze up as well and my brain turns to jelly!
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  Sunspot

  On the upside the other day he told me he didn't want to go "to that dumb ol boring Kingdom Hall" again. Maybe I'm doing something right!?

  Now THAT'S good news! You have most of the battle won if he keeps that attitiude! LOL! You can encourage him to "freely discuss" what he thinks is so boring (adults know its boring too---but just won't admit it) and let him know he's absolutely right in his assessment!

  It's hard to beat a JW at his own game, because they have an answer for EVERYTHING! I didn't say it was the correct answer...but its the Watchtower answer which is correct in JWs scale-covered eyes!

  Let us know how you and the little one are doing with all this....and let us know if we can help with any questions....

  hugs,

  Annie
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  gordon d

  Hi SK, Just a thought... (probably not an original thought) I think that children are like sponges. They are gonna soak up whatever they are exposed to... that is why so many of us are here, on this forum. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to give your son some equal time in an environment that teaches the real "truth" about Jehovah, Jesus, and the role of mankind. That might be difficult to find but looking for it might be time well spent. All kids are exposed to good and bad, right and wrong, everywhere. With love motivated parenting and a little trial and error (on their part) most of them seem to find their way toward some positive, personal growth.... some even develop a deep relationship with God. The scary thing is when they are denied the opportunity to discover their own perspectives by a group of "adults" that literally demonizes everything that differs with their opinion. This is the epitome of the brainwashing technique that cults use so successfully. I know it's tough but don't give in or give up.... there have been far to many lives and families ruined already. We'll be praying for you, and your son, and your ex. Love, Gordon **** P.S.****** If you want to cure the "bleahs", don't forget to read your bible daily...Arm yourself with the sword of the spirit... Jesus showed (in the wilderness) that nothing shuts up Satan like the proper use of the phrase "It is written"... In my experience, the average Witless is totally disarmed with this approach.
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  Sunspot

  I think that children are like sponges. They are gonna soak up whatever they are exposed to... that is why so many of us are here, on this forum. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to give your son some equal time in an environment that teaches the real "truth" about Jehovah, Jesus, and the role of mankind. That might be difficult to find but looking for it might be time well spent.

  I'd give a hearty "thumbs up" on this post!

  I think even at age 5, you can get some good points across! Just little tidbits dropped here and there on a regular basis (like Jesus loves little kids.....or that Jesus died for ALL mankind,....or if someone you know passes on you can tell him that the person is now living with Jesus in heaven, etc) can be helpful in setting the groundwork for becoming familiar with Jesus in a wholesome and a very un-watchtower way.

  Any focus on Jesus will be the opposite of WTS teachings of focus on Jehovah, and pleasing Jehovah, and chanting Jehovah time and time again in a prayer to make sure JWs are "being heard", (gag) all that WTS slant on everything needs to be avoided. Putting Jesus in a child-friendly light is so much better than him hearing how to FEAR Jehovah, and that you MUST do more to make Jehovah "happy", or him hearing how many are going to DIE if the WTS god isn't satisified with their efforts etc....is so scarey for ANY kid and counter-productive to developing a warm feeling with Jesus.

  The boy will undoubtledy be hearing this WTS stuff over and over when he is with his Dad and he needs to have balance in hearing NONJW teachings as often as possible! Kind of like the antidote given to counteract a poison that somebody has ingested.....you need to offset the WTS poison from infiltrating his mind!
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  rebel8

  How about explaining to your son that there's no way to know for sure which religion is "right", if any? Kinda like Santa Claus--we can't really prove he doesn't exist--some people think he does, most people think he doesn't. Daddy has access to the same proof we all do, he just interprets it differently than Mommy, and that's ok.

  IF you can explain such a concept to a 5 yr old, that is.......

  Oh, and the most important point......he should listen to everyone's beliefs and THINK about it hard....use HIS mind to think about it, not just believing something because someone tells him to....and when he grows up, he is allowed to decide which religion to join or to not join any at all.
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  Seeking Knowledge

  thanks guys...awesome responses.

  I take him to my church, I ask him why he thinks daddy doesn't like birthdays, etc. I do give him as much from the other side as I can. He is told from me that it's ok to celebrate birthdays & that God/Jehovah/Bob or whatever he wants to call him isn't going to be angry at him for doing so. It's his dad that doesn't like to do it, and that's ok, but we do.

  I do need to understand more of my own beliefs to get the mush out of my mouth to be sure. I do also tell him that there are many different religions out there and they all think they are right, but it up to him to decide what he wants to believe in and that being told what he has to believe isn't going to work. I figure he may not fully understand right now, but with the idea of coming to his own conclusion in his head, he may just be ok.

  Thanks again