The Importance of Good Punctuation

by Clam 6 Replies latest social humour

  • Clam
    Clam

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is all about.
    You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not
    like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have
    ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no
    feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever
    happy--will you let me be yours?
    Jane

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about
    you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like
    you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined
    me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
    whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy.
    Will you let me be?
    Yours,
    Jane

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Very clever!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Clam,

    I recall these little gems from RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT years ago:

    Pardon, impossible to be sent to Siberia.

    Pardon impossible, to be sent to Siberia.

    And with your indulgence, some French homonyms:

    Massacrez tous [kill everyone].

    Ma sacre' toux [my d_ _n cough].

    As the tale was told regarding the same-sounding words, a general was cursing his persistent cough, and an underling mistook those words as an order to shoot everyone. Believe it or not!

    Yours truly,

    CoCo

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    Thats pretty funny!!

  • Clam
    Clam

    Haha CoCo - very good!

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    That's great, clam! It sounds like something that could have come from the pages of my favorite English stylebook, "Miss Thistlebottom's Hobgoblins" (Theodore Menline Bernstein).

  • moggy lover
    moggy lover

    OK, here's one I picked up somewhere along the walk of life:

    That that is is that that is not is not is it it is

    Which becomes:

    That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is it? It is.

    Cheers

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