JW attitude toward death

by love2Bworldly 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  love2Bworldly

  I was just remembering how when I lost my non-JW brother when I was a teenager, that my witness friends were not very supportive when he died. He died in his sleep at age 22, and he was a very nice person. I remember crying at school and my JW friends were like, oh brother it's already been a week! And you are still crying?

  Then the Watchtower had articles years later about how it was ok to grieve a lost loved one, and that some people take longer than others to heal. That pissed me off, because I thought to myself--why do I need the Watchtower to tell me how long I have permission to grieve for a lost loved one?
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  Zico

  I remember being upset at my WORLDLY cousin dying of cancer at 26.
  
  A JW said to me, and I quote 'Why are you crying? She has more chance of getting into the paradise now! It's the best thing that could have happened to her!'
  
  I am still in awe at the fact that he must have really thought that would make me feel better?
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  Finally-Free

  That pissed me off, because I thought to myself--why do I need the Watchtower to tell me how long I have permission to grieve for a lost loved one?

  Sorry about your brother.

  My father died 5 1/2 years ago, and I still miss him terribly. I must have aged ten years during the week that followed his death. I remember one day, 6 months after his death, I was at work and I had some great news, so I phoned him (briefly forgetting he was dead) only to hear the recorded message that "this number is out of service". That was when it really hit me - that I no longer had someone to share the special events of my life with. Sure, I was married and had other family members too, but he was the only person who ever really cared if I existed from one day to the next.

  JWs in particular could not comprehend my grief, nor could they understand why I sometimes spoke of him fondly - after all, he wasn't a JW and therefore unworthy of affection, right? I should have been glad that he was dead - maybe then he'll get a resurrection.

  The JWs nake me sick.

  W
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  JH

  That pissed me off, because I thought to myself--why do I need the Watchtower to tell me how long I have permission to grieve for a lost loved one?

  Well, they must think that if you have the slightest faith, you won't grieve long, knowing you'll see them *soon* when they resurrect.

  *soon could mean 1000 years....
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  aarque

  My dad and I both were battling cancer last year...he didn't make it. At his memorial service, the JW never mentioned dad's name, never gave his condolences to the rest of us, and since then have never even called on my mother to see how she's been doing (she has mobility problems and "attends" meetings through phone hookup). It's as if the whole thing never happened. We are all having a hard time dealing with it.
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  Butters

  That sounds really bad aarque. The more I keep hearing about these things, the more I think about how insensitive the witnesses really are. IT's amazing how they can be "politely rude".
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  serendipity

  My father died after refusing a blood transfusion. I can't tell you how many JWs told us (mom and kids-all teens) "You don't need to be sad about your dad. He'll be in Paradise. Now make sure you're there."

  Not a comforting or sensitve message at all.
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  jaguarbass

  Then the Watchtower had articles years later about how it was ok to grieve a lost loved one, and that some people take longer than others to heal. That pissed me off, because I thought to myself--why do I need the Watchtower to tell me how long I have permission to grieve for a lost loved one?

  Now being out of the organization for years, I see how rediculous it was for us to look to the organization to tell us how to behave in so many different areas of our life. It shows how people are looking for direction in life, hence they are sheep. If you are not smart enough or wise enough to think for your self than you end up being a jw or baptist or catholic, or Mason or moslem, mormon etc...

  Maybe religion is a spiritual kindergarden. Sooner or later you got to move on to the 1st grade!
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  parakeet

  "Then the Watchtower had articles years later about how it was ok to grieve a lost loved one ..."
  
  When I was a JW almost 30 years ago, the current "light" then was that it was unseemly to demonstrate grief -- people might think we didn't have faith in the resurrection. Now they're saying it's OK to grieve? How very compassionate of them. They like to measure out their emotions in careful little portions. Musn't give anyone the wrong impression.
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  LongHairGal

  This is what is so screwed up about them. They have no appreciation for life which makes you wonder if this is all mentally sound. The problem I have with this is that even if god intended there to be a new-system/afterlife/heaven, he put us in this life NOW. Obviously he meant for us to LIVE it.
  
  I cannot believe it was the intention for us to live like zombies or robots now.
  
  
  LHG