new member to this site

free2Bme2

Hello everyone, tonight is my first time posting on this site. I am not disfellowshipped just kind of faded away, so far without too much imput from elders. I have allowed my teenage son to continue his meetings and service calls. I got him involved and now have to let him make his own decisions. I have been away for almost a year now. Up until about 2 months ago my son tried his very best to get me to attend but now he has limited his meeting attendance to 2 or 3 Sundays a month and only goes to the school when he has a talk. I know he is very worried about armaggedon, losing his friends,etc. Does anyone have advice on how I can help him through this difficult and often painful transition. How should I speak with him? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou in advance.

Funchback

Hi free.

Welcome to the Forum! There will be many people who will reach out to you who may have been in a similar position.

Brian

diamondblue1974

Welcome to the forum and what a great opening thread!

In my experience it is always difficult dealing with family members who are inside a high control group or destructive cult and the same approach should be made with your son. Its difficult because for such a long period of time he and you were taught what to think and when to think it and to view any other viewpoint as originating with Satan.

One book which helped me to help others is Steven Hassans, Combating Cult Mind Control, the link should take you to amazon.

Its not an anti JW book in fact the authors own personal experiences are very much within the Moonies cult however when you read his experiences you see the considerable similarities to your own.

Good luck....keep posting and again Welcome

Gary

jwfacts

Welcome Free2Beme2, nice to have you here.

It is not too hard for a teenager to come to accept that the WTS is not the truth, as they have not got such a vested interest as people that devoted their lives to it, and the cognitive dissonance is not as strong. The easiest way for your son to leave is if he has friends to support him, you can assist with that by encouraging him to make normal friends at school, in a sports club or the like. That way he will not feel so lonely and scared about having all his friends cut him off.

In regards to his being destroyed at Armageddon there is some information about why this teaching is unrealistic at http://jwfacts.com/index_files/salvation.htm

It is likely that your son does not know the full history of the WTS. If you go through this with him his eyes are likely to open very rapidly. My stepson stopped going to meetings, but kept saying he would go back and that he did not want to die at Armageddon. One day on a long drive to camping I spent about 1 relaxed hour discussing Pastor Russell, Rutherford, 1874, 1914, 1925, pyramids, the knights templar etc with him. From that moment forward he did not have the slightest doubt it is a crazy untrue religion.

Frannie Banannie

Welcome to JWD, Free2Bme! So glad you were able to free yourself. I understand about your teenage son and you've already received some "plum" advice here which should help immensely.

I will add that fear is the WTS's greatest tool that it uses to keep people adhering to WTS teachings and looking to them for their salvation. It's a shame that innocents like your teenage son are so susceptible to their fear-mongering.

Another thing that might help in a subtle way is to find info on identifying religious cults and allowing your son to have access to the info without making it confrontational. Along with the other more excellent advice given by these other posters here, this will subtly enable your son to see the parallels between a religious cult and the WTS. :)

Good luck!

Frannie