And Moses said unto the Lord: Ten what?

Gordy

From the Daily Mail 25/10/06

And Moses said unto the Lord: Ten what?

God: What are you doing with the stone tablets with my Ten Commandments on.? I thought I told you to take them down the mountain to read to the multitude?

Moses: Yes, you did, but I need to talk to you about that.

God: What there to talk about? Simple enough task.

Moses: That’s what I thought. Until Health and Safety spotted me trying to carry the tablets.

God: What have they got to do with it?

Moses: Well, they reckoned that it was either going to do my back in or I was going to drop them on my foot, or somebody elses. So H&S decided I would have to fill in a risk assessment form first.

God: Anything else?

Moses: As a matter of fact , yes. It was then the PC brigade got involved. Said the title was to abrupt. Didn’t leave room for negotiation.

God: That was the idea. They are commands, that is why they are called the Ten Commandments. The title stays.

Moses: Couple of other things they weren’t happy about.

God: What else were they moaning about?

Moses: Well they didn’t care about the bit about not worshipping other gods. Or having graven images. Said it was discriminatory and might upset other religions.

God: Anything else?

Moses: That bit about honouring thy father and mother. They reckon in single-parent families some kids don’t know who their father is. Sometimes the mother hasn’t a clue either. What with sperm banks, frozen embryos and cloning.

God: Go on

Moses: The advertising people don’t like the one about not coveting. That is how they make their money by telling people not to be happy with what they have got. Both they and politicians are dead against the word “lie” they say its to judgmental. They prefer words or phrases such as “putting a spin on it” or “presenting it in a better light” or “in the public interest”.

God: Still liars though.

Moses: Well they lie for a living.

God: Are there any commandments they are happy about?

Moses: Well. They’re OK with “thou shalt not kill” And the one about stealing, although politicians rob people and call it tax, but that’s apparently alright.
The big stores don’t agree with keeping the Sabbath special. Nobody has mention adultery, but I think they turn a blind eye to that one.

God: I’ve a good mind to send a plague of frogs on them to teach them a lesson.

Moses: NO! Don’t do that or we’ll have the Animal rights people onto us.