Halloween jokes

by bikerchic 2 Replies latest social humour

• 

  bikerchic

  Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite... What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite... Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy... How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray... What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck... Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately... Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don't have any body to go out with... What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? Booberries... What is a vampire's favorite sport? Casketball... What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving... What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein... What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?" What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A cereal killer... Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're so wrapped up in themselves... What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends... What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts... What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel... What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation? A scareplane... What type of dog do vampire's like the best? Bloodhounds... What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon-slime... What does a vampire never order at a restaurant ? A stake sandwich... What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? A trombone... What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets... Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath... What's a vampire's favorite fast food? A guy with very high blood pressure... Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
• 

  Mystla

  Most of those were great.. but one was way wrong!!!!

  Why do witches ride brooms? Because nature abhors a vacuum!!

  Misty
• 

  Clam

  One day Count Dracula is walking down the street when suddenly
  10 tons of smoked salmon sandwiches, sausage rolls, chicken
  wings, chipolatas, tomato salad, pizza slices and crisps fall
  on him from a great height and crush him to the ground.
  
  "Oh no!" he gasps with his dying breath, "It's Buffet the
  Vampire Slayer!"