What happens when a child sees this and hears this?

by The Dragon 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  The Dragon

  A father has to spank a childs sibling for committing a wrongdoing in his eyes or judgement in front of them. What goes through that childs mind as he watches dad "put it down"?

  Does it say when people do something wrong in their judgement as they grow older it is ok and nessesary to stike them.

  What happens when the older strikes the younger for doing something they think is wrong or bad?

  Does dad beat them for striking their sibling and relying on their own judgement to judge and punish their younger brother or sister?

  Words can only get you so far....but actions tell the tell beyond argument or dispute.

  Do you want your children to beat and punish one another as they see fit. Or leave it up to you?
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  lovelylil

  good points. I hate hitting children for any reason. My parents were very abusive to us kids growing up and watching my siblings get a lickin hurt just as much as my getting one. I felt powerless and angry observing it. I am totally against corporal punishment and do not feel it teaches kids anything at all except like you said - it is o.k. to hit someone that has angered you.

  When we were JW's, my hubby was one of the "the bible says use the rod" group so we used to bump heads all the time on this issue. Thankfully, since leaving the WT we have not had to argue this point as he has not found one thing in the last 3 years he thought the kids did to deserve being hit. Hmmm, interesting isn't it? lilly
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  The Dragon

  Amazing how people think their words can cover up their actions and example freeing them to try to force others to do one thing while they do the opposite themselves.

  Is there a word that best describes this line of thinking?
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  Mystla

  I was one of those kids that didn't listen. Sometimes the only way to get something through my thick scull was to swat my ass. My parents didn't beat us, but they did spank us. They only did it when necessary, not all the time.. so when we did get swatted, we knew it was serious. I never felt abused and my siblings and I never thought it was ok to hit each other.

  That's all the input I have, I don't feel I should give advice on parenting when I'm not a parent.

  Misty
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  The Dragon

  My dad will tell you he beat from the day I was born....and still can't control me like that.

  You would think he would have tried outsmarting me instead after the first ten years of failure trying this tactic.

  I only keep doing things if they yeild the results I am looking for..if not I try new things until I am satisfied with the results. Pretty simple IMO.
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  Ingenuous

  My father justified spanking by saying that you had to teach a child that when you do wrong, it hurts.

  What spanking actually taught me was that when you do wrong (or just mess-up), Dad hurts you.

  My fear of my father lasted years - a feeling he repeatedly invalidated (when I attempted to confide in him) by telling me I didn't really feel that way.

  It as a pattern that was brutally repeated when I left the Org, only the punishment was emotionally violent instead of physically so.
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  myelaine

  my younger kids don't listen to didilysquat! they don't listen to me or their dad or their brothers or anyone. they have the run of the place and there is nothing we can do. I tried to set out some guidelines but I didn't hold any sway...dad was a "friend" not a dad...everything they did was cute and o.k. now he sees that everything ain't so cute...he's just as stressed as me... Go figure...

  the only way I can get any control is if I am literally in between these little ones 24/7...didn't they cut the dam cord!!!

  anyway...continue

  p.s. I rant, spank and then bannish...then relent, coo and give them candy.

  oh.... but if we're working one to one, each is a sweetheart babyface lovebunny smootchy loveface squishy!
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  mama1119

  I am not a fan of spanking. I have a very strong minded three year old, however, that sometimes will not listen at all. The only thing that gets her attention is a swat on the bottom. I hate it, but it works. I never spank repeatedly, and always give her ample opportunity to do the right thing, but, sometimes there is not choice (especially when it is a safety issue to be learned). I cannot stand parents that use spanking to make there kids afraid of them, or jusr to get off on a power trip. I think kids know the difference between a swat from a parent, and if it is okay to swat a sibling.
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  Wasanelder Once

  When we were kids there was no such thing as a "time out". The first time I heard of that I laughed my head off. That would have been perfect, we would have thought we had gotten away with murder and beat the system. My mom was the spanker, my dad was the threatener. He didn't have the heart to spank us. Mom on the other hand had some anger issues from abuse when growing up and definitely should have been disarmed. We survived and as we got older came to understand her issues. It lead to understanding and we don't feel there has been any lasting damage. I don't have kids, but if I did I think that I would reason as best I could with them according to thier age. I couldn't say anything more until I were in that situation. Some kids are just headstrong. Needs to be channeled.

  W.Once
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  Ariel84

  My parents always used the typical line: "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" and I can remember being made to "go get the belt".

  I don't believe in hitting a child ever, under any circumstances! I appreciate the fact that children do need disipline and structure, but nothing justifies physical abuse. It teaches children that violence is a way of resolving an issue. Not to mention the fact that the very people a child loves, trusts and looks to for protection, then beat them, making them feel worthless and rejected. There a far more effective and responsible ways of parenting than hitting a child.