Here is the email that my pastor wrote in how best to help with my 3 daughters 13, 11, and 8.
They are being raised by their jw mother in Green Bay, WI. I am here in Washington. I get them 40 days in the summer. It is my goal that giving them that distance and a safe place will help them to see which direction they want to go in.
My 11 year old will be getting baptized in April at a one day. She wants me to come for it while she has already stated that at 18 if I am not a jw she will leave me so I see it as a day that will begin to further tear us apart.
So I keep trying to figure out the BEST way to handle this. It kills me to lose my children. But it is a choice THEY must choose.
Here is what my pastor wrote. I thought it was good. This suggestion may help others who are in a similar situation as I am in. Here it is:
I have walked with some friends through a similar situation so I’ll just give you my opinion. You are free to do with it as you wish.
Ethan’s primary job is to love his kids. Period. Anything he does to try and convince them that there Mother is a member of cult (at this age) will only backfire and drive them closer to her. Putting them in the middle of a faith contest will only confuse and devastate them over the long term. He needs to pray for them, love them, communicate with them, and most importantly model Jesus in every circumstance.
The religion of the JW is full of checklists and “have-to’s”. The relationship with Jesus is full of intimacy and “get-to’s”. Only Ethan can model the difference for them.
When they are here – love them, pray for them, lay hands on them and quietly pray for God to protect their eyes and ears, but ALWAYS honor their Mom. That is a biblical command even though we may be in deep disagreement with their religious persuasion.
Rachelle – remember this. YOU cannot save anybody. Only God can. You need to put as much energy into prayer for the kids as you have put into worrying about them. Jesus loves them more than you or Ethan ever could.
Do your part – pray. When you feel like giving up – pray harder. When it looks like hope is gone – pray more. That is only thing that will protect them from being fully indoctrinated.
Secondly, learn everything you can about JW theology. This is not so you can argue with the kids. It’s so you can ask good questions about God and Jesus that will plant seeds in their minds. I have some stuff but if you just type in Jehovah’s Witness cult on the internet you will have more than enough to read.
I’ll be praying for you. God must think an awful lot of you to place you in this position. He is with you.
Grant
What is YOUR opinion on how to handle my situation and what did you think of Grant's?
Thank you for your help! I will be calling on your suggestions and help throughout the next 10 years and more I imagine....
Ethan