My fiance and I have been together 7 years and recently his father passed on. Since then she started hanging around her hairdresser and husband more. She agreed to using her land for farming and is suppling funding for them. They are JW and now she has joined, since then she has deemed us as evil and even says she filed a restraining order. We have done nothing but try to warn her that they might be taking advantage of her. This is what we thought before reading up on JW. We are shocked and hurt, is their anything we can do?? She is like a totally different person!
WE are being disowned!
by kungfuey25 7 Replies latest jw experiences
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morty
Since then she started hanging around her hairdresser and husband more
Who is she? a little confused on your situation...is "she" your mother in law?
Welcome to the board by the way...
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kungfuey25
yes she will be my mother in law, we are not married yet
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blondie
I would take it that her late husband left all his belongings to her? Did he leave anything directly to his children?
Unless you can prove legally that she is mentally incompetent to handle her money or that this JW couple are doing something illegal, I don't see what you can do. It is her money, to spend foolishly even.
If she has gotten a restraining order against her own son, I think whatever you have done so far has frightened her. It will be hard now to reassure her since legally you can't have contact with her.
I would check with a lawyer and see if you have any legal stand in this. Also, if you feel that something illegal is being done by the JW couple, get proof and go to the police or the DA's office.
It is sad to think that someone is being taken advantage of but if they are mentally competent and nothing illegal is being done, there is not much you can do.
Blondie (welcome to the board)
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kungfuey25
His dad had no will unfortunately. She was always spending her money unwisely especially in return for love but in our opinion she should not be buying people she hardly knows a truck plus lots of other things. We feel they are manipulating her but like you said probably not much we can do. She keeps on trying to "save us" and wants us to join to.
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jwfacts
It is quite common for people to join cults in times of stress, such as the death of a loved one. You need to gently help her reason on things with questions about the strange JW teachings. She is also unlikely to be aware of all the strange teachings from the past and the failed prophecies. You can get a lot of this information from jwfacts.com
To join a religion such as this she is probably looking for comfort and support. If you remove what the JWs are offering her she will need a replacement, such as extra time from her daughter. She also must be missing her husband and the Watchtower plays on this by saying very shortly she will see him again in paradise. A more satisfying thought is that right now he is looking over her from heaven, and that she will be together with him one day. There are many scriptures to explain that she has a hope of going to heaven.
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jgnat
What a funny woman. You can't exactly join if she has a restraining order against you. How long is the restraining order for?
Otherwise, I'd suggest go to a few meetings to win your mother-in-law's trust back, and then try and take action. There was an elder or two who were recently arrested for defrauding an elderly woman in the states, wasn't there? Perhaps a story or two like that can help win her over. But first you have to reestablish your trust.
There. Found it:
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Forscher
May I humbly suggest a strategy which worked for an aunt of mine?
She was a Witness who was married to an outsider who was very definately opposed to the Witnesses. For many years their life was filled with arguments about religion and he just stiffened up and got harder. Then one day she decided all the arguing just wasn't worth it and stopped trying to convert him. Within a few years my Uncle's attitude changed dramatically until he decided to ask the elders in my aunt's congregation and was very much pro-Witness when he died. The very same strategy can work in reverse, though it will take a long time and much patience.
So what I am suggesting that you don't argue religion with her and do not agressively try to show her what is wrong with the witnesses. In this phase of her experience with them you will just push her farther away. If you are religious, pray for her. If she does have a restraining order out on you, stay away. When you are around her, be nice and avoid the topic. If she does push the point, just remind her that she's already told you that she isn't interested in hearing what you've found out and unless she has changed her mind on the matter you would rather not discuss it. Otherwise, always treat her, and her new found faith respectfully, and insist she return the favor in regards to you and yours. That way you control the situation rather than she. And you set the tone for your relationship.
Forscher