If Jesus Were Alive Today...

by acadian 5 Replies latest social humour

  • acadian
    acadian

    If Jesus preformed His same ministry on earth today, He would be wanted by...

    • ...the FDA for turning water into wine without a license
    • ...the EPA for killing fig trees
    • ...the AMA for practicing medicine without a license
    • ...the DEPT of HEALTH for asking people to open graves, for raising the dead, and feeding 5,000 people in the wilderness
    • ...the NEA for teaching without a certificate
    • ...OSHA for walking on water without a life-jacket and for flying without an airplane
    • ...the SPCA for driving hogs into the sea
    • ...the NATIONAL BOARD of PSYCHIATRISTS for giving advice on how to live a guilt-free life
    • ...the NOW for not choosing a woman apostle
    • ...the ABORTION RIGHTS LEAGUE for saying that whoever harms children, it is better that they had never been born
    • ...the INTER-FAITH MOVEMENT for condemning all other religions
    • ...and by the ZONING DEPT for building mansions without a permit

    • Jesus would be wanted by the BATF for ordering his disciples to carry arms.
    • He would be wanted for sedition by the FBI for promoting the Kingdom of God.
    • He would be sued by the ACLU for teaching religion in public places.
    • He would be charged with HATE CRIMES for threats against lawyers, religious leaders, and public officials.
    • He would be targeted as a homophobe by GLAAD and ACT-UP for his stance on homosexuals.
    • He would be cited by the NATIONAL PARK FISH AND WILDLIFE DEPT. for exceeding the daily fishing limit.
    • He would be condemned by PETA for cruelty to animals for drowning 2,000 pigs and riding into town on a donkey.
    • He would be wanted by the Feds for driving the money changers out of the temple
    • He would be branded as a Terrorist Cult Leader by Janet Reno and the DOJ for predicting the tearing down of the temple.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I thought this was funny, and so true. Acadian

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    About as popular as the last time he was around then.

  • read good books
    read good books

    They would do the same thing to him, the exact same types run things today, and they did do it to Lincoln, Garfield, Kennedy, King, Kennedy again, Malcolm X, Che Gueverra, John Lennon, Wellstone, Kennedy Jr., Lady Di, and even attempted it on George Wallace,and Reagan. Sorry this isn't funny, unless of course your in the elite.

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Watchtower wouldn't have anything to do with Jesus until he shaved his beard and recognized them as God's Spirit Anointed Orginization. How funny would that be?

  • lowden
    lowden
    ...the INTER-FAITH MOVEMENT for condemning all other religions

    Yep.....hopefully our modern society could see him as the fascist hypocrite that he was.

    "....he that is not for me is against me....."

    Peace

    Lowden

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586
    Watchtower wouldn't have anything to do with Jesus until he shaved his beard and recognized them as God's Spirit Anointed Orginization. How funny would that be?

    Yuuup. Then he'd wonder why the people who call themselves The True Christians TM relegated him to perfect man/super angel status.

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