As a ministarial servant I was surprised to find out that, some who had been appointed elders, who I was serving with in 2000 never really believed in God at all. I was blown away by the fact that a person could have been serving for many years did not really believe in God. If they did not really believe in God why were they here, and in what did they really believe in?
I just had to ask one of these individuals how he could have served for years and not really believed in God. His answer was simple, he told me that he was raised in the truth, (the organization) and that he had no other choice. The fact that he was a plumbing contractor helped him keep his position because all the other elders in our locality were all in the construction trade in one way or another and they used his services.
As I reviewed my own years in the orgainzation entering into it at 20 years old I came to understand that many persons in the JW Org., stay not because of their unabiding love for Jehovah but only because the only thing they know is the Org., and because they have been raised in it and because like in this persons case his family is caught up in it and that is the only life they have known.
When I went knocking on doors in the past I really wanted to talk to the people about God's Word. I found that when other witnesses came to a door with me they wanted me to present the magazines however I began to start using ONLY the Bible at the door. I understood that some persons who shunned the mags would actually listen to a Bible verse.
One day I knocked on a door the person on the other side seemed to be receptive and ask if they could ask me a question? I of course said yes... the person then proceeded to ask me about my belief in pyrimids as a sacrad. I stated that I did not believe in pyrimids. They then ask me why than was the first president of the watchtower society buried under one?
I could not believe what I had just heard so I did some research and looked it up. Sure enough Russell's grave stone in a pryimid. I wanted to know where this strange idea came from. My research yielded some interesting beliefs developed by Russells use of pyrimids as being an integral part and a central foundation for WT teaching. as noted in his book "The Divine Plan of the Ages".
It was at this point that I had to make a complete review of my on belief system. I later quit the org., took some time off just getting away from the Bible for a while. Of couse my wife and I were both marked by the local congregation and shunned by all our former friends.
Fortunately I do not need a lot of friends to get by. This confusion has really messed up my kids though and that hurts me on a daily basis. Their married now with their own childred and their struggling to get by although they do not attend meetings.
I came to one conclusion that for me to be spiritual and to love my Creator was not dependent on others. It depends on me. I love my Creator and I now see the fallacy of following men. Some people in the lead in any organization may act like they believe in God but in reality they may not even believe. So did the Holy Spirit mess up? I don't think so. Some persons work their way into a leading position in the congregation using smooth words and deception wanting to be in a position of control and to be looked up to by others.
So, Who really is the faithful slave? Well the faithful slave can be me, you or anyone else who is really doing God's will, who is really helping others, who is really following the commandments of God, who is really changing his or her lives for the better. Am I praying to my God daily? Am I loving my niegbor as myself? Am I putting real faith in the precious blood of God's only begotten Son?
Its not my job to police all of you activities, that's your job. You and I must love God enough to get control of our own vessels and start to police our own bodies. By doing so you will recieve the joy that comes from being at peace with God and man, and with yourself. Share the real truth with others. Let you light shine! Let everyone know that God is providing a way out for all those who really love him no matter what title a person may have in front of their name. God is accepting applications now from the small and the great just don't let ego get in the way.
God Bless You All! Elihu/Elijah