Gag alert!!!
The First Circuit Assembly in the Conyers, GA Assembly Hall
All the meeting rooms have LCD televisions so the brothers doing
volunteer work don't have to miss so much of the program. Even the "baby
lounge" has an LCD for mothers. Also every part of the facility is wired
for sound, so no matter where you are, you can enjoy the program. (No
more brothers walking around with portable radios.) The Scriptural Text
(either the year text or the theme text for assemblies) is displayed on
the back wall of the platform via projectors and can be changed
instantly with a click on a computer in the back. Also, there is a
camera directly over the baptism pool so everyone, even people at their
seats, can see the baptism projected on the back wall of the platform.
Along with our new facility came some ground rules: NO chewing gum
anywhere on the property. The attendants will gently remind us of this.
Also, drinks other than water are allowed, but use extreme caution not
to spill any. All drink containers have to be emptied completely before
being put in any trash can to prevent leaks from the bags as they are
emptied. Everyone was most willing to cooperate with these directions.
Most simply drank their coffee, tea, sodas outside and came back in. And
the brothers were very serious about keeping everything clean. Before
any of the brothers responsible for cleaning the various areas left,
Brother Humbert (the caretaker) and a brother from the assembly hall
committee did a "walkthrough" to ensure near perfection. This will keep
our assembly hall nice for a very long time.
CULT 101 - NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE AT...WE WILL CONTROL YOUR MIND
JWD: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the BORG. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind -- driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
WAC: The BORG?
JWD: Do you want to know what it is?
(WAC nods his head.)
JWD: The BORG is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
WAC: What truth?
JWD: That you are a slave, WAC. ... A prison for your mind. (long pause, sighs) Unfortunately, no one can be told what the BORG is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
(In his left hand, JWD shows a blue pill.)
JWD: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in BORGland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. (Long pause; WAC begins to reach for the red pill) Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.
(WAC takes the red pill and swallows it with a glass of water)
I OWE YOU JWD.