My sister is getting married on Saturday (dub wedding)

cyberdyne systems 101

The wedding has arrived, i've been maintaining a stance of not attending, but this last week had a slight change of heart and thought I might attend afterall. I thought it would be a good chance to hold my head up and show i've got a life. After some further thought and talking to my sister, i've decided to not attend. Her and me are quite cool about it, she knows its not because i'm angry at not being invited to the reception, and I know she's not inviting me for any other reason than i'm DF. But ultimately I decided that i'm not invited, i have nothing to prove or justify to the judgemental witnoids, and can do something more productive on the day - for me. I would have gladly attended should she have wanted me to come, but due to the circumstance, this is not the case. Dont get me wrong i've said my bit about the rules of the society influencing the personal lives of a family, but i've come to my choice on the matter in a calm and thoughtful manor and feel ok about it. I sent the couple a card expressing my wishes for the day and life ahead.

Its Friday, the weekend is upon us, all have a good one, take care

CS 101

fullofdoubtnow

I think you've got the right idea cs101, sending cards but not attending. It would probably have meant an uncomfortable day for you anyway.

Dismembered

Grettings CS101

IMO you decided to do the right thing. If ya can't go to the reception, why bother listening to the same ole dirvel at the dubhall. My wife recently went to a dub wedding. She said nothings changed. Same ole same ole. Go enjoy your weekend.

Dismembered

Gill

Sorry CS101! But as long as you're really cool about it.....still a shame that those arses get to rule your life still.

cyberdyne systems 101

Thanks Gill, I dont really see it as they are ruling my life, i've made a choice not to attend the ceremony and it feels good to be the one making that choice, sure its because of the dub mindset that as a family member i'm not invited to the reception, where as the grooms 'worldly' relatives are, but I feel liberated to be beyond that mindset myself, whilst remembering what it was like to be in it. Also my sister and me are both ok with it, under those current circumstances, which I recon is a better way to show i'm not bitter and evil as someone who is an ex jw. Maybe it will make her and my jw mother think about things?

CS 101

TresHappy

I used to get my feelings hurt about not being invited to certain things. I remember right before I left the JW's, my best friend in the JW's met a guy and well you know those whirlwind romances and let's-get-married-so-we-won't-get-disfellowshipped sorts, she and the fellow (nice guy btw) decide to get married in a small ceremony at a pioneer sister's house. I was so excited for her, she was planning showers, etc. Then I asked her about the wedding; she told me it was just a family affair. I later learned other JW's attended the ceremony. That was it for her with me. After she got back from the honeymoon, I told her off, I mean really really really told her off and she was so cold about it. I realized I was a fair weathered friend in her book and nothing more, 16 years later I have never spoken to her family (large JW family).

Woofer

So sorry you have to miss this family affair. It's a shame that they let their religion dictate to who they can talk and associate with.

Tres - your story sounded similar to one I had. My best friend (at the time) got married in big hurry at her parents house. Now this girl was in my wedding, so we were very close. I was informed that the wedding was "family only" but I was invited to the reception after (held in the house). I felt I was invited only for the gift so I passed. No thanks!

cyberdyne systems 101

The wedding has come and gone and...hey I feel quite ok about it. I've asked my parents how it went and so on, I guess i've accepted things how they are right now.

Is this part of moving on I wonder?

CS 101

Gill

Hi CS101!

I'm glad you're feeling OK about the wedding. Really, it would have been very uncomfortable to put yourself in a position where these silly people could feel haughty, snootty and abuse you by ignoring you, so you did the right thing! Often, it's best to just not 'play the game' in the first place.

It's a sad situation but hopefully, in time, you family will begin to see reason and regret their actions against you.

Regards

Gill

My sister is getting married on Saturday (dub wedding)

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