Chicken.. what chicken?
Posted by flyawaymike at June 28th, 2006
Here is THE Final Answers from all
of Those who KNOW, on the chicken crossing the road question.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with
the problem on “THIS” side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the
road. What we need to do is help him realize how
stupid he’s acting by not taking on his “CURRENT”
problems before adding “NEW” problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is
having problems, which is why he wants to cross this
road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH: We don’t really care why the
chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no
middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen,
you can clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe
there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
cross the road, I am now against it! It was the
wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am for it now, and will
remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because
he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way
he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order
at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird
gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t
you people see the plain truth in front of your
face? The chicken was going to the “other side.”
That’s why they call it the “other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like “the other side” That chicken
should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain
and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart warming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting, and went
on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the
road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2005,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of
eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will
never cra…#@&&^( C ….. reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?