Is it really that difficult to leave?

smily

My friend is a JW born and raised and has been disfellowshiped.He is unsure if he wants to go back or not but it seems to be such a heart wrenching decison which as a non-JW Iam having alot of trouble understanding! He still goes to meetings and seems to have alot of trouble letting go...I have met alot of his friends and he does not seem to hide me away although he is careful to only see me at certain times.

Iam afraid to encourage him to leave as it seems so difficult.I know he feels he would be letting alot of people down but he already does alot he should not like drinking and sports...and seeing me?!

Is it really so difficult?

AK - Jeff

Is it really that difficult to leave?

Until one can separate the fantasy from the reality, yes. Like cutting barnacles off a ship. The concept that this is God's organization is throttled into the depths of most witnesses souls. But it can and does happen, as this forum attests.

Welcome to the forum. Stick around and you may get a better understanding over time and threads.

Jeff

fullofdoubtnow

Hi smily, and welcome to the forum.

Even though your friend has been disfellowshipped, he will have been indoctrinated since birth with the jws ways, and it is very hard to let go when you have known little or nothing else, especially if his family are jws. If so, they are likely to encourage him to work towards reinstatement, and if he's not sure he really wants that, then this will be a very confusing time for him.

He obviously needs a friend right now, so maybe the best thing you can do is be that friend, as well as researching the jw religion yourself.

stillajwexelder

depends on the person - I personally have found it very difficult

sass_my_frass

Yes, losing all of your family and friends is difficult, as is investigating something that you've been brainwashed to never question.

smellsgood

Well, I'm sure anyone can tell you its difficult to even ATTEND meetings when you've been df'd and not officially "reinstated." It seems that no one will talk to you, you're relegated to the back corner and ignored. Something like that.

HE SHOULD LEAVE. I'd talk to him. I've never been a witness myself.

What was he disfellowshipped for? If he's got family in, basically, he's being blackmailed, lose your family if you don't remain a Witness :(

Clam

Hi there Smily and welcome.

You say

I am afraid to encourage him to leave as it seems so difficult

He's your partner so therefore you want the best for him. The JWs are a cult and a destructive one at that. If he did go back then it would compromise your relationship, as the JWs don't sit well with non JW partners. In my opinion if you can talk freely with him, you should encourage him to educate himself with regard to the Witnesses and their history. The internet is an ideal tool for this. There are numerous websites exposing this organisation - http://www.freeminds.org/ is a good one. Does he know the JWs have a major problem with child molestors? Go to http://silentlambs.org/ He needs to understand what he's apart of. It's based on a fairy story that a Creator will wipe out 6 billion people and just leave him and his cronies. Support him and encourage him to open his eyes. He owes it to himself and you.

Keep posting and try to get him to post.

TweetieBird

The difficulty in leaving is due to not wanting to lose your family and friends. However, if he can develop good friends outside of the organization, he will eventually find it easier to leave. For me, it took a move to another state to finally be free, even though the relatives all think that we are still good little witnesses. As more time goes by and communication with the relatives becomes less and less (you do grow apart when not around them), I foresee a time when I will actually be able to come clean with them and tell them that it is all BS. Help your friend to make lots of new friends. He's probably been brainwashed to believe that all non-JW's are evil. Once he finds out that there are really great, kind and honest people on the outside, he may find that leaving is not all that difficult.

OnTheWayOut

It is very difficult to leave the cult that convinced you that all people on the outside are doomed, while those on the inside can have a personal relationship with God and live forever.

While your friend is on the outside, maybe you could tell him it is a good time to make himself sure of his religion. Tell him what you found out about JW's here and at freeminds.org, reexamine.org, other websites easily found by Googling "Jehovah's Witnesses" or "Watchtower." Tell him he should check those out. Tell him to read CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Ray Franz who used to be on the Governing Body of JW. It can be found on many of those websites for purchase or at Amazon.

Tell him that after he makes sure of his decision to go back to JW's or leave, he will be more confident in it, knowing he has done the research.

Gill

It can be! Mind Control is a very powerful weapon that the WTBTS uses on its members.

He needs to 'Want' to break free, and he can only do that if he researches the Watchtower Society and discovers for himself that it is a load of BS!

Until that day it remains a torment to tear yourself away from your family and friends and have them ignore you for the rest of your life!

That's a BIG and BAD thing to happen to anyone, unless they learn the Truth about the WAtchtower Society.

Is it really that difficult to leave?

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