How I started smoking when I left "the truth"

by ballistic 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  ballistic

  I would love to here anyone elses, here's mine I thought I would relay to you...

  I decided to go to college after my disfellowshipping to get an education and while there I worked as a part time bar man. I used to work in quite a smokey atmosphere, probably for a year or two.

  One day, I was at the laundry and a girl next to me lit a cigarette and I remember trying desperately to breath the fumes in and what a relief it was to get a fix on my night off, even though all this time I had turned down cigarettes when offered.

  Thursday night was student night at the local night club and I used to go down there with a friend from work and a few others and one week we all pilled back to mine which wasn't far. After they had gone, one of them left a cigarette pack on my desk which I thought was empty, but when I opened it there was 3 cigarettes and a lighter.

  Now bear in mind I was 23 years old and had turned down cigarettes for years, I suprisingly took the first cigarette out and lit it, and loved every minute of it. I smoked all 3 within about half hour and never coughed, choked or was sick or any of the things they say.

  The next morning I went out and bought my first pack of 20 not realising I would be doing that every day for the next 13 years, minus the year and a half I have previously managed to give up for. I didn't always smoke that many to begin with but by the end when I was rolling my own, it was probably closer to 40 a day.

  Having just given up again 3 days ago, I thought it was worthwhile to reflect on how I started, how easy it was, and how difficult it is to stop again.
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  sass_my_frass

  Hang in there! (can you taste the difference between oranges and mandarins yet?)
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  becca1

  Gald you quit! Keep up the good work!
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  Abandoned

  Good luck quitting. It's very rewarding to do it because you love yourself rather than to appease an unpleasable organization.
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  reneeisorym

  I just wanted to try them. I had seen people smoke and it always appealed to me but while a JW -- I wouldnt dare. Soon after I decided to leave, I went to the store and pretended they were for a friend. (I knew the girl at the curbstore nearby). I went home. Got some vodka and some apple martini mix and lit one. After two cigarettes and 3 martinis.. my head was spinning .. and I puked soon after. The next day I had the rest of them and craved another rush (even though I did puke!).. so I tried it again. No puking .. just head spinning. I started smoking up to half a pack a day and thought better of it and now I'm down to two or three cigarettes in the evening. I usually don't smoke from the time I go to bed all the way to the next evening after supper. I just can't seem to quit from there.
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  buffalosrfree

  Nothing like a good cigarette or cigar when relaxing. I do occasionally had 1 about 7 months ago when I felt like it and will only do so when I feel like it. Just don't hardly want one quit back 18 years ago, and cold turkey also, but like a real good cigar about once or twice a year and maybe a marlboro or camel 1/2 times a year also.
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  ballistic

  That's interesting buffalo that you can't manage to give up those last one or two a year when you've done so well with the rest! It's a bit like those 1-cal sodas - if they can get rid of 99 calories, why do they have to leave the last one!!!???
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  BabaYaga

  Hang in there, Ballistic!
  
  Cheers to you
  Baba.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  I was a smoker before I became a jw, and managed to quit long enough to get baptised. I managed most of the time without smoking, but there were occasions, all through the time I was a jw, that the stress got too much and I bought 10 cigareetes, drove off somewhere in my car, and smoked a few. I always felt guilty afterwards, but enjoyed the cigarettes.

  When I left the jws, I realised I could smoke publicly, and it wasn't long before I was smoking regularly again. I quit 3 weeks ago, and as of today, it's 22 days without a cigarette. I am not finding it easy, but hope to quit for good this time.
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  I smoked for the first time when I was 13. It was Marlboro Light and ehhh ok.

  I started sneaking Virginia Slim Menthol Lights out of my sisters car/purse. Oh yeah, that's where it was.

  Off and on I smoked up til after I was married and I wanted to be a btter witness.

  Well, as soon as the stress really kicked in with trying to escape the jw's, I went back.

  Went through some weird health stuff because of the stress and all of a sudden out of the blue,

  the ciggarettes started to nauseate me so I couldn't keep it up.

  Tried one the other day with some of the bs going on round here, it sounded sooooooooo nice.

  Yuck.

  That didn't work.

  I love the smell of a ciggarette being smoked, but stale smoke on someone's clothes or in the home is gross.