Euro-English

by belbab 4 Replies latest social humour

• 

  belbab

  :;Sent by: 'enri The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
  English will
  be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
  which was
  the other possibility.
  
  As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
  English
  spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
  phase-in
  plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
  In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
  will make
  the sivil servants jump with joy.
  
  The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear
  up
  konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
  
  
  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
  troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
  like
  fotograf 20% shorter.
  
  In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
  expekted to
  reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
  
  Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
  have always
  ben a deterent to akurate speling.
  
  Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
  languag is
  disgrasful and it should go away.
  
  By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
  "th" with
  "z" and "w" with "v".
  
  During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
  kontaining "ou"
  and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
  
  Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
  understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
  
  Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
  in ze
  forst plas.
  
  If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

  belbab

  ---

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• 

  jst2laws

  LOL,

  Thanks Belbab and inri. That's a keeper.

  jst2

  ps belbab, how are you? Pretty cold there yet?
• 

  GermanXJW

  What's wrong with German? ;-)
• 

  belbab

  Hello German XJW.

  What's wrong with German? ;-) What's wrong with belbab? . I guess if I want to know about belbab and his wrongs I will have to ask me. It would be hard to find out by reading the above exercise, whether it was a German changing the letters of English into German type letters or was it an German writer changing them into English. The whole thing could be reversed, a writer could take German and switch letters to show absurdities of the English language. Humour is a bridge. It beats swimming across a river, especially in wintertime. belbab
• 

  belbab

  Oh yes, one more thing, 'enri is a polak, raised in France, now living in Montreal for years, used to be a elder, til he got disgusted with judicial comitees interrogation of young females, with questions like, did you go below the belt and how far and what color was the panties. He resigned. Later he was disfellowshipped, because he wrote a letter to his brother, a district servant in Bethel, who reported him and he was disfellowshipped. It was the WT's loss, they lost along with him, his wife and all his children, twelve beautiful people all at once.

  Since he was a Pole, the following expression of what he thought he thought of WT eldership is not politically incorrect:

  Polack elder to his non-submissive wife:

  Who pizzis in the sink, ME or You!