1. Terrorists are crying out for help. They need a hug.
2. The United States needs to show some kindness and understanding.
Perhaps if we show restraint, the terrorists will be less likely
to strike again. Take no action and pray that the terrorists
have made their point and will now leave us alone.
3. The United States should immediately denounce Israel as an
outlaw state, cut off all foreign aid and diplomatic relations
with them.
4. Americans should cover themselves with ashes and sackcloth, and
admit that our wealth and prosperity make us the scourge of the
planet. We should immediately issue a worldwide public mea culpa.
5. The federal government should immediately issue all citizens
T-shirts with the words "KICK ME" printed on the back.
6. We need to get back to the weighty matters of this country like
HMO reform, campaign finance reform, reparatiions for the black
descendants of slaves in 1865 and Gary Condits extramarital
affairs with flight attendants (talk about terrorism in the sky!).
Drahcir bin Yarrum