Sent my Disassociation Letter

by love2Bworldly 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  love2Bworldly

  Well I sent my letter of disassociation to my relative's KH. I got really burned out on her nuttiness so for my own sanity and emotional/mental health I had to do it.

  I feel very sad because I know I hurt this person by some of the things I said in the letter; I cc'd the letter to several people in my family who have also been hurt by her nuttiness. I wrote the letter and mailed it in a bad frame of mind. Some day I will post the letter, because it actually makes me laugh the way I worded some things. But for now, I don't feel comfortable posting it.

  I just feel sad that our whole relationship was based on whether this JW relative thought I was living my life according to her JW standards. Before I sent the letter, I think the final straw that sent me over the edge with wanting no more contact with this person, was when I asked her why she used to shun me and now she doesn't. Do you know what her response was? It was the fact that she did not feel comfortable with my way of life in the past. In other words, when I'm married she knows I'm not screwing boyfriends out of wedlock.

  What a bunch of BS!
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  Lady Liberty

  Dear Love2,

  Like you said for your own sanity..it's best you did what you did. Know you are not alone with the whole JW relative nutcases! I have a few myself! It definately sucks! Hang in there. When you are ready to share we will be here to listen!!

  Sincerely,

  Lady Liberty
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  WCC

  Do they still disassociate those that want out?
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  juni

  Welcome WCC to the forum.

  A person who no longer wants to be part of the religion has the option of DAing themselves in which case it is announced at the congregation and then people view you as DFed. They will shun you.

  If you don't want to do that you can just fade away and they'll view you as spiritually weak unless someone sees you doing something worthy of DFing. They'll tottle off to tell the BOE and then they investigate. They'll ask you to join them for a meeting whereby they talk w/you and encourage you to come back to mtgs., etc. If you appear to them as contrite you would be viewed as spiritually weak. Depends on how self righteous others are as to how much attention you receive. They'll be on your back to keep moving forward to regain your spiritual strength.

  If at this meeting, you are not contrite and start asking a lot of questions about the religion or that you are having problems w/the teachings, that's where they start changing their attitude towards you. You are no longer considered spiritually weak, but a possible apostate. Then it escalates from there. They'll poke and prod until they're satisfied that you are a threat to the cong. and then they'll DF you - of course you still have a 10 (?) day grace period to change your mind or appeal their decision. If you don't appeal in that time frame then they DF you and your are shunned.

  Does that help?

  Juni
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  J-ex-W

  Juni-- Your description of events is dead on. Especially how the congregation members treat those they view as spiritually weak: It's entirely dependent on how self-righteous they are. Only some very few are genuinely glad enough to express it when they see a weak one making the effort to attend meetings and struggling to apply the 'principles.' So many are, instead, caught up on the outward manifestations of applying the 'rules'--the unwritten ones being most important. [and most unattainable]