My story

by Tammie 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Tammie
    Tammie

    For me the Jehovah's Witnesses faith was all I have ever known. And what ever your parents say, as a child you will take it at face value. But let me now tell you of my story. Around 1974, when I was 5, my mother became a Jehovah's Witness. And I would hear her say, things like Armageddon would happen before I started school. I started school in 1975. She honestly believed it. She had a cousin that studied with her, and showed her topics such as the hell fire doctrine, and the trinity doctrine. Those were two things she had a hard time dealing with when she went to church. So I am growing up, my mother is a Jehovah's Witness and my father.....well he never became one, but he backed up my mother.

    During the course of time, I eventually get two more sisters added on to my family. And also my mother was inactive part of the time, but she was faithful all that time on not celebrating the holidays, or anything that went against the JW rules. So eventually in 1987, I got baptized, no pressure to do it. My mom always said when we get baptized it was up to us. I have always been thankful for that.

    In the following year, right out of high school, I went into the full time ministry, called pioneering. In 1989, I started to work with a building crew to help in building of Kingdom Halls. I would have to say that both of those gave me a good learning experience on how to handle the bible. Also that really helped with my people skills. Before I did those things, I was a terribly shy person. I was so shy, that I would get pains from talking to people. So you can see why that was a good experience for me.

    But this where things get a little odd for me. Even though I was doing all I could for Jehovah's organization, I was always plagued with guilt over miner little things. Oh, it is nothing you would get disfellowshipped for. But I always felt like I was not worthy of God's love, and no matter how hard I would work. I just did not feel worthy of survival into God's new system. Just remember this, and I will come back to it later in my story.

    In 1993, I got married to my husband. We got married at the Kingdom Hall. And I like to call this point the beginning of the end for me. After I got married to my husband, I learned that he only got baptized because his parents forced him into it. It was either get baptized or get kicked out of home. So at 18 he got baptized, because he was not ready to leave the nest.

    I have had my mother ask me if I asked the elders about him. Yes, as a good JW Christian that I did. This is what happened when I talked to his elders (before we was married). I had asked the elders if he was in good standing in the congregation, and this is what they told me. Yes, he is in good standing. He goes to almost all the meetings, he goes out in service on a regular basis, and he does other things for the congregation. Well, I learned what they told me was all LIES. They also lied to his dad, who was concerned about him. He was inactive, the whole time we were dating.

    So after we got married, I moved into that congregation. BIG MISTAKE!! This certain congregation does not except outsiders. They even had this rep back in the 1950's. I tired to be a good Christian, and over look all this. I thought, well it must be me, because I am a newlywed. I was never so wrong. We moved away, but in the course of time we ended up in this congregation 3 times. That was my husband's doing. And really it was not his fault, because he worked in that town. And the car we had at the time was always breaking down.

    Every time we moved into this congregation things just got worse. I think it was because I had told the Circuit Overseer about them. They were always picking on me, about little things. To give you an example. At the time my oldest was just a new born, and cried a lot I would do my best such as taking the child to the second school, or to the bathroom. But this one day, I decided to sit in the back row, my child was being quiet this day. And he made some of those baby cooing sounds. Not loud mind me, it was on the soft side. This elder picked up my bags, and took my belongings to the second school. He told me that I had no business being in the main hall. So I went back there with tears in my eyes. I was so angry at him. Told my husband (at that time he was not there with me), I won't go back there again. But I did about 2 years later. But this time, it was my husband who was the one who got chewed out. This time our second child had come along. But our oldest was being very good. Oh granted we could not keep him in his seat, but we were in the back row, and he was quiet. This time the elders escorted my husband out of the hall. They came back in, but my husband and son was gone. After the meeting he came back for me. What had happen, there was another child in the hall who was making sounds and our son got blamed for it. To make a long story short....My husband told them to blank off. He had enough. That was just two examples of what we were dealing with.

    And we had other problems, in other congregations, but I won't be going into that. By now we both were getting as you would call, very "spiritually weak". In fact, religion had taken a back seat. Except for the times I would get a phone call from my mother nagging about going to the meeting. Then I would go to a meeting or two, just to get her off my back. I got letters from mom, and one of my sisters telling me how I would die at Armageddon, unless I started going to all the meetings again. Those letters would make me angry and put me in tears.

    My children hated it whenever we did go. They would cry, scream, and fight just so they would not have to go. I would drag them to the meetings at times, kicking and screaming all the way. And we are talking about preschoolers. As I thought about this, there had to be something very wrong. Because children can pick up things that are wrong, even when adults can't.

    Remember earlier, I talked about how I did not feel worthy of God's love. This is where things start to take a turn. I decided to go against what the Watchtower said, and I went to the Internet. I read story after story of those who came out of the organization. And I felt like that they was talking about me. I noticed how you can stop at one story, and pick up at another story, and it would sound like one person telling their story. My Story. All those years in the organization, the Jehovah's Witnesses said "Don't read apostate information, you are just reading lies. I was going against what they were telling me to do. I decided to be on the safe side, I would read what they said against the organization, and then read it in the Watchtower, and other publications put out by New York. It was all true. I could not believe my eyes, and what I was reading.

    By now I was so confused, and fortunately for me I found several web sites dealing with encouragement of leaving the organization. I talked to my husband and showed him what I was learning. I was not sure how he would take it. But to my amazement, he was in agreement, only after he saw the proof.

    I then started to get into the Bible. By now, I did not even trust the New World Translation, so I got a NIV Bible. So I compared the two a lot. And learned that the organization even changed up some of the wordings in the Bible. One of the biggest changes was the word exercises when it should say believe. Here are some scriptures if you want to see it for your self: John 3:16, John 6:40, Romans 10:9,10,13

    At Ephesians 2:8,9 it says, "By this undeserved kindness, indeed, you have been saved through faith; and this not owning to you, it is God's gift. 9 No, it is not owing to works, in order that no man should have ground for boasting." So you can see how it is God's gift to us, and a gift is free.

    But then some one would say James 2:26 where it talks about faith without works is dead. But if you go up and read verses 14-25, It is talking about giving them the necessities of clothing and feeding those who are lacking. How Abraham was going to offer up his son Isaac in an offering to God, and how Rahab hid the two spies. So that scripture is talking about good deeds.

    And the last scripture that really got me to thinking about the changes over the years in the organization is Deuteronomy 18: 21, 22 How shall we know that Jehovah actually said it. He tells us that if a prophet says something is going to happen and it doesn't happen. God tells us not to worry, because he told us not to get frightened of that person. Now mind me I just paraphrased it, so you will need to read it yourself. Now, just think of all the times Jehovah's Witnesses said something was going to happen and it did not.

    I have been saved, and my faith in the Lord is stronger than ever. And if you are wondering, since then I have told my children that we will be going to Church and not the Kingdom Hall. At first they was not sure, because of the unknown, but after the first day of Church they love it. Their interest in spiritual things have started to bloom. As far as my husband we are going through this spiritual journey together. We are finally united as a family serving God.

    My brother-in-law learned that my husband and I were going to church. He said that he would tell everyone, and that we would get disfellowshipped. He was very rude, and cussed a lot at us. Any how, I don't know about you, but I like to have some control over my life. So we told him that we was going to DA ourselves. And that made him even madder. So announcement was made from the elders and that is that. My mom said that I am now dead to her, and I am going to loose out on my family. But for some reason, I am not that sad now. I was at first. I am now having relatives that I have not seen in a long time calling me up (they are not JW's) and now telling me that I can be part of their family now. They understand the JW shunning and stuff. In fact I have an uncle who is a Baptist preacher who wants to help me through my trials. I do believe that God is watching over my family and me, and telling me not to worry. He will make up for what I have lost, with something better. I am already seeing it. I am praying that he will allow my JW relatives to see the real truths of the Bible, as he has allowed for me. I pray that one day, they will get saved as I have. I am not angry at them; my aunt says that they are fooled by the devil. Who can appear as an angel of light.

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    What an incredible story - peoples experiences of life as a JW never cease to amaze me - it is incredible to think that we can survive these trials and still come out the other side with any faith left intact at all.

    I understand completely what you say concerning the children - mine used to hate being dragged along to meetings, they would get so bored listening to all the adult conversation, there was so little that applied to them. Who could blame them for getting fidgety and restless and making a noise? I used to get so angry with the elders when they critisized us parents for letting our children run around after the meeting - all they were doing was stretching their legs and letting off a little steam and yet they were really scolded by the elders for just doing what normal little children do. They were expected to act like adults - so unfair. Also I used to get filthy looks if my son fell asleep at the meeting as he used to snore extremely loudly... the looks I used to get... how could they honestly expect a two year old to stay awake past 9 oclock at night??
    I found most of them there to be very intolerant.

    I found your point about your faith very interesting - my husband, who left at the same time as I did, last November, is experiencing the same thing - a stronger faith now than ever before despite being in the JWs for 25 odd years. At long last he is able to examine his faith and read all the books he wants, bible commentaries and essays, etc. and he is at last able to explore his own beliefs. It is very enlightening and exciting to be able to make your own decisions and come to your own conclusions without having to adhere to the teachings of the WT society. He is definitely more interested in his spiritual side now than he ever was before. As for me... I'm working on it!

    It is so obvious what a threat the internet is to the society, there is so much real truth to be found here, nothing is hidden, they can be fully exposed here, their hypocrisy is revealed. People have the chance to come together to share their stories and encourage and upbuild each other, you realise that you are not alone. I dread to think how I would have coped in those early days after I disassociated if I have not been able to come here and gain encouragement, even by lurking I was able to be strengthened and keep up my resolve.

    Take care Tammie and enjoy being free.

  • mymailmum
    mymailmum

    I feel so sad for you...you have given so much of your life to Jehovah and then you gave up when under test.

    Jehovah does not forget what you did for his name. But girl, you failed a test that all of Jehovah's Witnesses have to go thru. WE DO NOT SERVE AND WORSHIP PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY IMPERFECT PEOPLE!

    You were tested like Job but you forgot to turn to Jehovah in pray to help you during the hardest test we all go thru. He would have guided you on what to do... then you would know for sure that He is real.

    Are you with your new church people praising Jehovah and teaching people about the only hope of the Kingdom? You know you
    are not...but you know deep down that is what we are to do.

    Jehovah has a perfect track record, EVERYTHING he says is going to happen...

    Jesus said these apostates would come. They have all decided to jump off the bridge and you have followed. Just like Judas Escariot.

    If I would have stayed in the Kingdom Hall just because of the people, imperfect people just like me, believe me I would have left a long time ago. I love Jehovah and if he allows certain things to continue for a time, then that is His decision.

    Satan is the one testing all of Jehovah's people...he wants company.
    And all those aposates that have failed their test of faith in Jehovah want company too. And they cry about it all over the internet.

    Why are they not coming to my door if they are so loving and they know what is going to happen in the future?

    I cannot begin to tell you all the stuff I have personally gone thru over the years but I can tell you, I have seen ALOT. And each time I have had to make personal adjustments and sometimes even changed congregations where there were even apostates within, girl we are close to the end and you HAVE TO have a close relationship with Jehovah to get thru this. It is the only way...Please find a Hall that you feel comfortable and loved in...I know it is there for you... for sure...I trust in Jehovah! NOT imperfect MAN!

  • SammyJoUK
    SammyJoUK

    Ok,
    this is to the sad lady (mymailmum)who has written the same thing, at least twice, to people who have managed to find out for themselves that the watchtower is indeed a man made cult.
    Lady does it ever, ever occur to you that these people might actually have seen something that you are too blind to see?
    I have to say that I feel really sorry for you, I have rarely come across anyone so brainwashed as you are.

    God bless Tammy and others for seeing sense and maybe, just maybe one day this woman will have what you have, the guts to get out.

    Tammy, hugz hon... you done good..

    Sammy

    Email: See below
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    OUR home page http://beam.to/servants4him
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  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    Oh good grief... mymailmum.... responses like this make me realise that leaving the JWs was perhaps the best decision I have ever made.

    I feel so sad for you...you have given so much of your life to Jehovah and then you gave up when under test.

    Tammie - in total contrast to that statement - I feel so happy for you... you have awakened to the fact that the JWs are not representatives of God and you have walked away. Congratulations! It is nothing to do with being under test. You dont have to be a JW to worship God, that is just a JW myth.

    You were tested like Job but you forgot to turn to Jehovah in pray to help you during the hardest test we all go thru. He would have guided you on what to do... then you would know for sure that He is real.

    In my husbands experience he felt he lacked any guidance from God when he was a JW, yet now he has left and is examining his faith and communicating directly from God he is getting all the guidance he wants. At last the 'messages' seem to be getting through to him.

    Are you with your new church people praising Jehovah and teaching people about the only hope of the Kingdom? You know you
    are not...but you know deep down that is what we are to do.

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... in all the time I spent in the KHall I never felt as though I was praising God, just listening to rules and regulations and singing songs praising the organisation and the witnesses in it. Where was the praise, the worship, the honour? Nowhere. Yet walk into a church such as the baptist church and the love for God is so much more evident - people are happy to be there and really praise God and Jesus, the songs they sing are all to that effect. They do not keep people in their congregations through fear but through a genuine love of God. Motive. And there are indeed many churches that have programmes of teaching and evangelising - it is not exclusive to the JWs. The main feature of their teachings is love, love for each other and love for God and his son, not destruction of millions and life only for a select few.

    Jehovah has a perfect track record, EVERYTHING he says is going to happen...

    mmmm, that may indeed be true - but why then are the JWs known for their wild speculations and assumptions? Their unfulfilled prophecies are a thorn in their side. They are not relying on God but on their own understanding and that is fatal and will be their undoing.

    Jesus said these apostates would come. They have all decided to jump off the bridge and you have followed. Just like Judas Escariot.

    More like jumping off the Titanic before it goes down. The Society block peoples access to God, they prevent people having a personal relationship with Him, they put too much emphasis on the organisation and not enough on the personal side of things. They have a lot to answer for, a lot of people have left with no spirituality remaining -they are blood guilty.

    Why are they not coming to my door if they are so loving and they know what is going to happen in the future?

    Would you honestly listen to them? I dont think so. This is why they are so hot on shunning - they know very well that if believers were allowed to associate with ones who have left then the true facts of the organisation would come out. They use the cruel shunning practice, not to keep the congregation clean, but to keep the believers in the dark and uninformed. We who have left do not profess to know what is going to happen in the future - the JWs are only going around teaching the doctrines of the WT society - they are no more in the know than anyone else - they do not have some sort of divine hotline to God. It is arrogant of them to think that they have. If you look at other religions like the Christadelphians they have beliefs that are extraordinarily similar to the JWs yet they have done this without the so called 'anointed class'.

    Please find a Hall that you feel comfortable and loved in...I know it is there for you... for sure...I trust in Jehovah! NOT imperfect MAN!

    You will be looking for a very long time..... you wont find one. The hypocrisy and prejudice is not limited to one or two odd congregations - it is rife, it is commonplace. You will never find comfort or true unconditional love in any Kingdom Hall because of the organisation running things, the rules, the rigidity, the demands, the restraints, God must look down upon these people who believe they are serving Him correctly and weep. Where is the happiness? Where is the joy? What are the motives of the people that attend? If the 'reward' of life eternal on a paradise earth was to taken away would these people still serve God? If only the anointed were to be blessed with these things would the general rank and file still be happy to go along and serve Him? I dont think so, all boils down to motive. I want to serve God out of love and thankfulness not because I think I am going to get something out of it at the end of the day.

    Tammie - trust your intuition - I think we know inside of us when we are not doing something right - go with your intuition, I find mine rarely lets me down.

    Mymailmum - I felt the same way as you for so long. I am so glad I woke up and am now living my life in a more pleasing way to God.

  • SammyJoUK
    SammyJoUK

    I guess.. individuals wife and her AMAZING post, that was what I was trying to say, but never having been a JW.. well you know....WELL SAID ANYWAY!!!!

    Hugz

    Sammy

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Tammy girl! (((Hugs))) welcome to the board and to life after the bORG!!

    Individual's Wife....well said!!! But then you often have a way of saying things so well.

    Mymailmum...my dear, you have organizational blinders on. If you don't believe me, READ the stories on these pages! My story is in here somewhere...2nd or third page...have you an answer for me and what my child went through? Where was Jehovah? I was a faithful witness most of my life but when I REALLY needed help, your god let me down. Completely. And I'm not the only person that happened to. If your faith works for you, then I'm happy for you. Really. But there are many of us here who were beaten down and bludgeoned by the rules of the society. I, for one, am so very glad that I found out the truth about the JWs...my life and the lives of my children are infinitely better today because I'm out.

    Tammy...I can relate to so much of what you said in your post and I'm glad that you and your family have escaped the bonds of servitude imposed by a MAN MADE religious organization. IW's advice to trust your gut is right on!!!

    Take care and thanks for sharing yourself with us.

    Dana

    "...I'd walk with my people if I could find them..."

    Third Eye Blind, Deep Inside of You

  • think41self
    think41self

    Tammie,

    Just wanted to jump in here and welcome you to the board too!

    I see others have already stated quite eloquently everything I would have liked to say IW and Safe so I will just say again Welcome and I am happy for you and your family that you have peace in your life. Live long and prosper V

    think41self

    "Not believing is not the same as not knowing."

  • think41self
    think41self

    P.S. Tammie,

    Mymailmum is spamming all the new posters here with this same exact response. Until he/she gives the kind consideration to actually address any of your concerns or questions, I would have a hard time taking anything they say seriously.

    Tracy

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