Write my letter for me!

Billzfan23

I wanted to write my wife a letter - everything just turns bad quickly when I try to talk to her about what I have learned about the "truth" She won't turn me in to the elders for being apostate because she can't bear the thought of it, and she doesn't want me talking to the kids at all about what I have learned. So... Everything I need to say will have to be done with carefully chosen words in the form of a letter. I am not worried about her taking the letter to the elders, and she isn't the kind to make a copy of it. I am certainly not asking anyone to vounteer a novels worth of information... Even if it is just one line, or one sentence that really rang true with you that you would want to express if you were in my situation - what would it be? Just one or two points that you would want to get across that would be most influential. I don't want to intrude or step on her "belief system" - as a matter of fact, I respect it and would never oppose her... I just want her to understand that I absolutely HAVE TO allow the kids to see both sides of our opposing viewpoints.

So, here goes...

Dear ___________,

You know I love you and care deeply for you, as ___ years of marriage should show you that. But... Insert your line here

Honesty

if we joined the YMCA to use their swimming pool we would be shunned. The WTBTS, on the other hand enjoyed a 9 year affiliation with the United Nations and yet expect us to worship them as the Faithful Discreet Slave.

Billzfan23

That is an excellent one. I want to "tactfully" attack the UN issue with her, I don't want to be disrespectful in any way to her beliefs. If possible, I would like to keep from sounding over-zealous or fanatical to the other extreme, something that ex-jw's who are now "demonized" or "under Satan's control" are prone to do...

2112

the fact that you don't want to hear my thoughts and beliefs, and don't want me to talk to our children hurts. Are not my feeling. thoughts, and desires just as valid as yours. Even if we don't agree on everything does that mean that we are not one flesh? Am I not the head of the house and does not the slavation of the family rest upon me?

Thats a start, but Honesty's was short and sweet too

sir82

Not so much a suggestion on content, but more on tone.

Make sure you come across as humble & questioning. One of the broad brushes the Society uses to paint apostates with is that they are all "prideful" - they think they know more than the oh-so-full-of-~~$#!^-~~holy-spirit GBers, and thus are rebelling to get their own ideas heard.

Present the issues as questions, rather than hard statements.

For example: "I was researching some information on organ transplants. In the 1967 Watchtower, it compared it to cannibalism and said anyone who accepted one would be disfellowshipped. Then in 1980, it became a 'matter of conscience'. Anyone who accepted an organ transplant, and their conscience allowed it, remained in good standing.

"But what about those who refused life-saving organ transplants between 1967-1980 and subsequently died? God's standards do not change - if organ transfers are acceptable to God now, they were also acceptable to him in 1970. Wouldn't a person who speaks for God but is mistaken, and indirectly causes the death of someone else due to that misstatement, be bloodguilty?

"And if they so completely got it wrong in the past, which of today's current teachings might also be wrong? What guarantee is there that the current teaching on blood & blood fractions is in line with God's thinking? Wouldn't it be better to follow our own conscience in these matters, rather than let someone else decide for us?"

And so on. Present your points in the form of questions - no one will leave "the truth" because someone else tells them to - they must reach the conclusion on their own.

jgnat

When I talk to a JW, I try and pick ONE issue that I think is closest to THEIR heart.

What is the key doctrine that has it's hold on her? Is it fear of death, loss of family or friends? Knowing what that key is, is the key to getting her out. Does she hate hypocricsy? Point that out.

Get her thinking past doctrine to your heart and soul. We all know the rote answers a JW has to the doctrinal stuff, but who can deny your heart? It is unique, it speaks. Consider sentences like, "Imagine what it is like for me..."

You may want to read some of Steve Hassan's books before you wade in. There are ways to approach a self-deceived person so that they will pay attention. www.freedomofmind.com

Billzfan23

Thanks so much guys! These are all great suggestions. Keep 'em coming?

lonelysheep

......I do hope you understand just how much I love you and will be here for you. As your husband, and head of the household, I will keep our lives in balance. That means there will be no objections from me when it comes to what religion you choose to be a part of. As a father, I will offer my thoughts on life to our children and certainly not stop you from offering yours. We will continue to be the best parents we can be to our children, as well as the best life partners we can be to each other. I must be true to myself in order to be the best man I can be--for myself and all of you. Whether you see this as a test of our marriage or not, well, that's not something I can predict. My love for you each and everyday of our shared lives together ought to prove otherwise.

becca1

If to "abstain" from blood means not taking in any blood through any means (as the Society has taught us), then aren't we breaking the command to abstain from blood when we accept "fractions". Perhaps the understanting of "abstain from blood" is due for revision?

Write my letter for me!

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