Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, "Where is God?" The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, "Where is God?" The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy’s face and asks again, "Where is God?" The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, "We are in BIG trouble!" His brother replies, "We haven't done anything!" The younger brother replies, "God's missing, and they think we did it!"
TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
God Joke.
by TheHypnoToad 4 Replies latest social humour
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TheHypnoToad
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freetosee
lol
here's one for you...
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord...
"God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
"Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute." -
freetosee
A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.
"God!" he says. "What gives? Remember that time I was tripping on acid? I saw you, and you said we'd be in Heaven together forever!"
God thought for a minute, then said, "Oh yeah, but I was drunk."
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unhappy
LOL. I'll have to remember them......
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Confession
For some reason, this thread reminded me of an old JW joke I heard when I was a kid...
It seems there were three clergymen sitting around, discussing the sensitive subject of how the flock's contributions should be spent. The first, a Methodist, said...
"I place a broomstick on the ground, take the collection plate and throw the monies up in the air. Whatever falls on the right side, I give back to God. Whatever falls on the left, I keep."
The second, a Baptist, said...
"Well I put a hula-hoop on the ground, take the collection plate and throw the monies up in the air. Whatever falls in the middle, I give back to God. Whatever falls outside, I keep."
Then a Catholic priest said...
"My method is very similar to both of yours. I take the collection plate and throw the monies up in the air. Whatever God wants, he takes. Whatever falls, I keep."