Relationsips

by sophie 6 Replies latest social relationships

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  sophie

  hello I dont know that much about jehovahs witness beliefs
  but i am wondering if anyone could help me understand their views
  on relationships, marriage and dating between them and people who are not jehovahs witnesses. As i am in this situation.
  Please help all advice appreciated.
  sophie
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  individuals wife

  i am wondering if anyone could help me understand their views

  
  Boy, I don't think many people can understand their views on these matters and if they can understand them and accept them... well, I feel sorry for them quite frankly.

  Briefly put, and this list is by no means exhaustive, it is open to additions...

  1. Relationships between a Jehovahs Witness and a non-Jehovahs Witness, or 'wordly person' are not encouraged. In fact they are highly discouraged. Witnesses are expected to look within the ranks of their own religious organisation for a future partner. A Witness who pursues a wordly relationship risks being disfellowshipped and expulsion from the congregation. All must 'marry in the Lord'.

  2. Relationships between 2 Jehovahs Witnesses are always conducted with a view to marriage, casual relationships are not allowed.

  3. Two Witnesses who want to see each other on a 'relationship' basis are not allowed to go out on dates unaccompanied. A chaperone must be taken along to ensure no lewd conduct occurs (such as holding hands..) This chaperone must not let the couple out of their sight.

  4. There must obviously be no hint of sexual activity in a pre-marital relationship - no heavy petting, no intimacy, and certainly no sex. This is a disfellowshipping matter and will lead to expulsion from the congregation.

  5. The partner that a Witness chooses must be in good standing in the congregation, be regular at meetings, be regular in field service, be actively participating at meetings, etc.

  6. Couples who choose to marry are usually directed to read the Family Happiness book for tips on how to make a marriage successful and they are expected to adhere to these 'suggestions'.

  7. Marriage - a wedding ceremony must not be followed by a 'wordly celebration' with excessive merry-making and frivolity. Bad things happen at events like that and this must be avoided. Keep your conduct pleasing in Jehovahs eyes.... sigh....

  8. After the wedding there are more rules and regulations, the organisation has some things to say about what must not go on in the bedroom. No oral sex. Nothing that deviates from the plain straightforward sexual intercourse. Or else....

  9. Wives are in subjection to their husbands. Organisation says so. So it must be true....

  10. No extra-marital affairs - GOOD GRIEF - SOMETHING I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH THEM ON!!!!!

  11. Oh yes, no vasectomies either. Mmmm, wonder if men made that rule??? Very convenient.....

  Any more... or is that enough?
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  sophie

  hello thankyou for replying you have been a great help but i dont
  understand how can choose who you fall in love with dont any jehovahs
  witnesses date people of different religions.
  Do you have to be born into a jehovahs witness family to become one or do they recrute anyone one who is interested . Sorry i have got loads of questions spinning around my head. If a jw spoke about his love fo a non jw what would happen too him. Would his congregation try and convert the non jw.

  Thank you very grateful for answers.
• 

  spider

  This seems to be a common problem.If you have not already, check out the threads started by butelbee and the record collector.They may be of help.
  You asked what would happen if a witness started talking about liking a non-witess in a romantic way.I guess if this imfortation got to an elder,as it is likely to do, then that person will be taken aside and counselled - ie shown scriptures and witness material about not yoking yourself with unbelievers.They would then be expected to come to their senses.
  If they actually started dating this person then more pressure would be put on them.They would lose privilages in the congregation, they would find that their friends started to view them as bad association and would no longer mix with them socially.
  If it came to marriage then disfellowshipping could be on the cards.I would not think they would be disfellowshipped before marriage but I could be wrong.
  As for the witness trying to bring the non-witness into the religion.This does happen but elders are going to suspect something and they are the ones that need to be pleased.
  No kind of romantic relationship could begin until that person has leaped through all the elders hoops first.They would have to study for an extended period,go on service, go to all the meetings, get baptised.The elders would be on the lookout for any lack of sincerity or ulterior motive.
  Even after baptism they would have to show themselves to be in a good standing in the congregation before the elders are happy with things.
  As for dating people of other religions.No, this is absolutely not permitted.You could be a faithful christian in any other faith but it does not matter a jot - witnesses believe they alone have the truth and all other religions are condemned by God to destruction.Go figure.
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  butalbee

  Okay, so you have fallen head over feet in love with a JW, whatever you do--don't tell him that. Build a friendship, something that can grow without any romantic tension. JW's are very different than other's because of all their religious dogma's. You are a worldly person and very bad, and morally unacceptable. You have to start slow with a JW, by being their friend, someone who they can talk to and rely on.

  And if you are thinking of converting for him, don't be stupid. JW's have so many mixed up, half ass belief's and unless you REALLY accept them as being true, don't even entertain the notion. You'd be giving up your soul.
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  sophie

  Hello, thankyou for all your advice. I think that what you have just told me is very true and i will try to follow your advice although it is very difficult when you have strong feelings for someone. I do feel better now i have heard what you have to say. Thankyou very much.
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  TheRecordCollector

  Sophie...Please read my post "JW & NON-JW RELATIONSHIP". I didn't know what I was getting into. I didn't know her "trainned" mind, now I may have lost her forever! Don't do what I did.

  I understand NOW...but it may be too late.

  I wish you the very best.

  Doug