I just wanted to update those of you who helped me with my children's visit.
My kids came out to visit me from Wisconsin to Washington for the first time since the divorce. I was very nervous. We basically had a great time. There were ups and downs. I stated once that I was ready to bring them to their mother who was an hour away for 'security'.
My youngest daughter stated that she wasn't sure she wanted to come out, but that she could now see that I was a totally new person and excited to be coming out now! I said that I was happy for her and she said she was happy for her too! At another moment, she was told that I no longer had any family because my dad and sister will no longer speak with me and that they were my 'last' resort as my flesh and blood family. She came over to me, I had been in another room, and she had tears in her eyes and she told me that she wanted me to have family. I thought that was the sweetest thing!!!
My middle child needed my hugs and attention. We had some good talks.
My oldest, 14, was the leader of the group. She didn't want to be here. She had a good time and it was good for her. But several times she told her mother that she didn't want to be here and that none of them wanted to be here. Those were exagerations as were many of her comments. We had some good connecting moments. She even said that she would go to my church since I had made some concessions earlier for her. So, she was pretty good. I was proud of her.
Religion came up on just a few occasions. I didn't want it to come up much. My main emphasis was to let them know that their dad loved them and to be the dad they needed me to be. They seem to be able to talk to Rachelle, my fiance, about it and think that I am unapproachable on the subject. So I let her do most of that stuff. She is good at it because she does it playfully and just states 'I just want to know so that I understand.'
They were interesting. They think that Jesus was a Jehovah's Witness. I couldn't believe that! My middle child was even looking for the scripture that stated that! I have to snicker at that.
We LOVE our church so we wanted them to come. We made the concession that we would go to ours on Saturday and theirs on Sunday. They didn't want to go Sunday. We begged them to go! They said no. How ironic! We can cheerfully tell their mother now that we TRIED to get them to go, but they wouldn't. (I love the high road. It's so easy to take when you are up against a jw!)
They are adamant that their beliefs are correct and good. My oldest even stated that we do worship the same God, but that he just doesn't like us. She was a bit embarrassed to say that, but that is what she is taught.
The kids were not religious minded at all! They loved all the worldly crappy music and hated our Christian praise music. They were not outstanding youth, but were disrespectful, liars, and just plain fleshly in their thinking. They were not lovers of God, but strict adherents of the Watchtower Society.
At church I told them that if they heard anything unscriptural that they should tell me. They said it was just like their church and preached the Bible.
They didn't want anything to do with Christmas, but BOY DID THEY LOVE NEW YEARS! We did the countdown, clinked glasses of juice, yelled Happy New Year in the house and outside, and they even were calling bars screaming Happy New Year! They really liked it!
So, I feel very confident that my new beliefs are correct. In no way were they able to show me I was on the wrong track. It had been my fervent prayer that if I WAS on the wrong path that God would show it to me through my kids. He has ALWAYS shown me that I am on the right path and has encouraged me to continue with it.
The visit was a good one. It had it's ups and downs. That is to be expected. They know their dad loves them and will do anything for them. That is one of my first goals for them to see. The next is to show them that God loves them no matter what! That it doesn't depend on what they do, but their dependence on Christ.
Thank you all for helping me with this visit and for my future questions in trying to help them to see reality. It is my biggest dream to set them free from religious enslavement to the borg. I'm not sure I will be successful. It looks like a difficult task because they are so militant and so unwilling to even consider scripture outside of watchtower indoctrination. (It is SO IRONIC that everything they preach is really pointed at them. THEY are the blind leading the blind.)
Thank you all for being there for me during my trials!!! It is wonderful to have you as my support!!!
Ethan