Well I must admit that I have been viewing many different stories here in the forum and as I sit here and type mine, my eyes are welling up with tears. They are not tears of sadness but rather tears of joy to finally find a "home' where I can come to, to talk to people who share the same life history as myself. I was raised in the "truth". Buth thtere was always something that didn't feel right. I just never felt like it was for me. But as we all know, being raised in it, you have no choice but to follow your parents lead. That is exactly what I did. When I was 17 I was baptized, but it was because I couldn't get married to the "man of my dreams" unless I was. I was then married a year later. The marriage only lasted a few years due to the fact that my husband was very abusive. I'm talking verbal, sexual, and emotional. I moved away and lost touch with all of my "witness" family. I then found a new life that was about "me" for a change, and not what the "elders" said I was supposed to be. I had found happiness. I was actually starting to question god more, due to the fact that when in the "truth" you are not to question other religions, or seek out other religions I should say. I have only been out for about 5 years now and it has been absolutely amazing. I have a new sence of God. My belief now is this: My relationship with God is between me and him. Why should I sit there and let an imperfect man get in the way of a perfect relationship with the Almighty? I love my life now with one exception, every now and then I get feelings of, "Am I really doing what's right?" I guess I just need some kind of reassurement from someone who's been there.
My Goodness...Where do I begin?
by precious_lil_1 5 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
airwlk149
dear precious,
hello! welcome. i understand exactely what you have gone through. i was disfellowshipped about a year ago and just was recently reinstated. alot of tears involved. my boyfriend wasn't abusive though and i truly loved him a great deal. now i hate him so much sometimes. i have a girlfriend now, still sounds or looks wierd when i say it that way or write it that way. but whatever, i guess you could call me a lesbian. some think it's very wrong, i know i thought it was extremely wrong until i started feeling what i do. i still see it sometimes as wrong, but i don't know why. i love her and she loves me.... but as you can tell i talk alot on the computer as i do in real life...... so let me get back to what i was saying,
your relationship with god is very personal. it is between him and you and no one else- BOTTOM LINE! the other day my dad and i argued about this. he thinks that you should "preach the good news of the kingdom..." you know the rest i'm sure. but it's not like that. if you have these so called "elder's" who are supposed to "flock the sheep" they are supposed to make you feel better, not worse. they make your life a living hell, setting all these standards that no one can reach. so in answer to your question: "yes, you are doing what's right!" live your life and be happy. keep your relationship with god where it belongs, between him and you and no one else!
good luck in life and i hope to see you here again!lots of love,
katie -
Gopher
Precious,
Welcome to the board. Glad you found a "home" here.
As to your relationship with God, you've come to a conclusion that many here have reached. It seems like, after some thought, it should be very clear that your relationship with God is a 2-way street, and not a love-triangle between you, God, and some large meddling organization! They play the role of "mediator", and take on the heavy responsibility of middle-man, which of course as time has shown, they've totally messed up. Sad to say, for the JW's, loyalty to their mediating "organization" comes ahead of love, which is sad. Yes, for them "it's my organization, right or wrong", and they think that's totally defensible.
Without that meddling mediator, you're free to approach God in a more personal way if you so choose! Best wishes as you find your spiritual way in life.
GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) -
think41self
Hi Precious
Welcome to this board. You will find many here who share your beliefs about God...many who don't. But it doesn't matter. You may even find discussions with those who don't share your beliefs are very stimulating. You will find most are supportive, which is great. Stick around and have a good time, I know I have.
think41self
"Not believing is not the same as not knowing."
-
Chrissey
My dearest Sis,,,
Precious was previously married to my brother. She and I were close as children, and as the only daughters in each respective family, we were quick to call each other "Sis".
Having cleared that up:
She is an extraordinary individual who blossomed quite possibly overnight after coming out of the org. We have shared our first Christmas's together, Halloween, Easter, etc. We have a very unique bond that has made us all but inseparable since we left the org; she about a year after I did.
I was quite happy to introduce her to this site, and look forward to posting my story here soonly.
Warmest regards to all who read....
~Chrissey~ -
think41self
Chrissey and Precious!
That is so cool that you have each other for a support system. My sister and I left the borg together, and it has been wonderful having her to share holidays and special times with. I am so happy for you both. And thanks for the info, it is always nice to know how people are "connected" here.
think41self
"Not believing is not the same as not knowing."