As many of you know, I have a stalker - a guy stalker. He's been stalking me for almost five years now since I ended our friendship (which lasted 19 years).
The fact that the guy seems completely obsessed about me weirds me out a little bit. However, it doesn't disgust me. The fact that he enjoys pursuing women under the age of 18 disgusts me. He has a fast food job which allows him to interact with under age girls on a daily basis (he's 28 years old). He has taken the virginity of a few of these girls.
But here's where it gets down right scary. He procreated and has a little boy. These are two of his blog entries, and it frightens me to read them knowing what I know:
Yesterday as I laid with you in bed, for the first time you moved in the right spot where I was not just holding you with one arm but was able to completely cuddle you. Almost instantly i began to cry. Yes i can admit this. My eyes were leaking as i thought about you as my son. I don't think words can describe how i really feel about you. Love is not a strong enough word. My bond with you is unbreakable, unbendable, external, and forever. As i lay there with you i was thinking how i have enjoyed experiencing things in life for a second time because i get to see them through your eyes. I think about how no amount of money would ever be enough for someone to take you away, you are priceless. A million dollars and the ability to go and do whatever i want would not be life, if i could not share any of it with you. Know that i will never be to busy to spend 5 minutes with you. I will never be too tired to listen or too angry to love you. You are by far the most easiest thing to love in this world. You are a joy in my life. You will never be a burden, you will never be a regret, you will never be a mistake, you will never be alone. I would give my life to save yours, my only selfish regret being i would not be with you anymore. I was born again when you came into my life, and love at first sight does exist, i i believed that the first moment i saw you. Your innocents, and smile, is just one of the many things that are right in the world. I may not be able to show you all the things in the world, I only hope you grow up knowing that you were loved. I hope i can raise you into a man that will make the world proud. I'll be there for those mistakes, and when you fall down, even if it is again and again, i'll always be there to pick you up. I will love you with all that is me. You are the most precious thing i ever could call my own, and i will always be proud to call you my son.
Today you turn 2. I can't believe how big you have become. From being a little guy who fit perfectly in my arms onto my shoulders, you are now an individual who i can't seem to get to sit still for 5 minutes let alone hold you longer than one. I treasure the days i can have you fall asleep in my arms while rocking you. You amaze me still every day with the things you discover, the trouble you get in, the amazement in your eyes, and the looks you give me, your scary face being one. Though i wonder about those raised eyebrows you've been giving me lately....it's so hard to stay mad at you...your so darn cute. Even now as i type this, there you are trying to sit on my lap. Your dancing is priceless, your attempts at independence are fun to watch. Sometimes though [name], can i please have my phone back?? I can sit and watch you all day in the little things you do. Though i cannot see you every day like i wished i could, i take in all i can in the days we do get to share together. Destroy the bathroom and leave your letters all over the floor and your drawings on the tile. But can you try not and hog alll the bed? :) It's never been frustrating, you've been a joy since day 1. If its a second birthday...or a 25th, i will always see the 6 lb 2 oz baby i seen for the first time on January 11th 2oo5. Love you more than you will ever know - Daddy.