I guess because we arent like them

by IP_SEC 9 Replies latest social current

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  IP_SEC

  Yesterday I was working outside a convenience store. A black woman and her little boy pulled up to get gas and were asked to use a credit card or prepay. This is common to everyone around here. Black, white, what ever you are asked to prepay or the pump wont be turned on.

  They went inside and when they came out I overheard the mother telling her son: "We wont be coming back here, these people are rude" The son asked the mother why the people were rude and the mother said: "I dont know, I guess because we arent like them"

  I dont know what happened inside, if it was related to the prepay issue, or if she felt she experienced some kind of racial predjudice. My question is this. Do you think it is right for her to tell her child that they were treated a certain way because they are different?

  To me it would be better to explain that there are just rude, small minded people in the world. Emphasis on the differences to me only serves to create more racial tension... After all we really arent different are we?
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  mrsjones5

  Some black folks have a permanent chip-on-the-shoulder victim mentality. I have a cousin like that, always looking out for a slight, most often where there was none. If that was the stated policy (a posted sign) I would not have thought anything about it. And if there had not been a sign I would have assumed that maybe there had been a lot of drive-offs at that gas station. I would not have assumed that I was being asked to pay inside because of my blackness unless something more blatant was said to my face. And if that had been the case and it was done in front of my children, I would later explain to my children why it happened and only some people are mean like that.
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  juni

  Thanks Josie for your comment.

  I don't care what color people are or what nationality and I feel that a parent has the duty to instill in their children respect for all people. But also I believe it should be balanced with the fact that there are unfortunately people of all color and nationalities who do not have good intentions so that the child doesn't enter the big world w/blinders on.

  Children have to know that there are consequences for bad behavior and with this situation it gives the parent the opportunity to explain why the gas station has this policy. It has nothing to do w/color of skin or nationality or religion, etc. etc.

  Yes there are occassions where there is outright prejudice and that can be taught to the child through the parent. It should never be an excuse to continue the bad behavior. A responsible parent would want to teach their child that not all people are this way and it will make them a much better and happier person to take the "high road" and not go along w/these narrow-minded people.

  Juni
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  jinjam

  I was born in South Africa, i think everyone more or less knows what that history was all about. I live in switzerland and am married to a swissie, but life has not been easy for me, because i am an "in betweener" meaning not black and not white. Its quite funny i have had to deal with lot BS from especially south africa, (first not being white enough, secondly not being black enough)I don't go outside looking for racist, neither do i suffer from an identity crisis, but no matter where you go in the world you will always find racism, discrimination, prejudice. So if this lady felt she had to tell her son that, maybe, partly it could be ignorance, or maybe it is just the best way she knows how to deal with things. Its true Most people i know are not racist, but we cannot assume that everyone isn't! NO we are not different! and i don't think that it had anything to do with paying inside bit, i think it mostly had to do with what happened inside, unfortunately the part you did not see.
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  betterdaze

  IP_SEC, maybe they really were treated rudely inside the store. You really can't know. I, for one, vote with my wallet and will not patronize a business that treats any people rudely.
  
  Look at the bright side, that little boy is being taught valuable self respect. As a JW, I was taught: Always turn the other cheek, let people sh*t all over you, Jehovah is watching and He will repay. Just keep putting up with one another, forgive 70 times 7, blah blah blah.
  
  It made me into a veritable doormat. It's taken years, but I'm finally getting in touch with my "inner b*tch."
  
  I once saw a Middle-Eastern couple get turned away from a hair salon. The stylist whispered to me, "We don't serve those people here (wink, wink)."
  
  I waited 'til my haircut was finished, paid, and said "Here's you're tip: Turning away any business is bad business. You could have gotten 10 new customers through that one Muslim lady. Now, you'll never see me or anyone I know, ever again."
  
  BTW, their waiting area always had up-to-date Watchtowers.
  
  ~Sue
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  SixofNine

  But black people are treated differently because they are black. Oh sure, you can find the instance here or there wherein a black person just thinks they were treated differently because of their skin color, but it wouldn't be correct to let those instances shape your opinion on the matter, and here is why: black people aren't idiots. When they say "yes, I see instances almost every day where I'm treated differently", they aren't just being defensive, it's the reality.

  Sort of like when I had a beard for several years at the end of my witness career; I'd argue with the "brothers" that not only was I not looked at negatively by business people or the world in general, but that in fact in some cases people treated me with more respect (I was in photography, and a beard was sort of a defacto photographer's/creative person's standard at the time). The "brothers" would tell me that I couldn't trust my own perceptions on the matter.

  I don't see any reason this woman should sugarcoat it for her son, he's going to see it for himself soon enough anyway. He's probably smart, she's probably smart, they probably have as good a sense as anyone wrt the difference between common assholery and racially motivated assholery. Actually, no doubt much better.

  And don't forget what state you're in. I've lived in the south my entire life, and I was still blown away at what a segregated society I came into when I started working in Louisiana.
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  IP_SEC

  IP_SEC, maybe they really were treated rudely inside the store. You really can't know.

  Yes Im sure they were, Im just saying I dont know exactly what transpired.

  But black people are treated differently because they are black.

  But at the core the problem is not that "we are different from you" The problem is because of stupidity, hate, and ignorance. I dont think the issue should be sugar coated, just the core issue should be explained. To say the problem is a result of differences is to side step the real problem because at the heart of it all there really is no difference between the white convenience store worker and the black customer.

  And don't forget what state you're in. I've lived in the south my entire life, and I was still blown away at what a segregated society I came into when I started working in Louisiana.

  Believe me sixy, I thought the whole race problem was way over blown and that as a whole we were past it all until I moved here.
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  Abaddon

  This reminds me of an advert for the policeforce in the UK.

  You saw a young, shaven-headed white man, dressed in a style of clothing that identified him as a skinhead, a notorious racist grouping. He was running pell-mell toward an old lady, shouting and gestiulating violently, knocking her flying with both hands. The film froze. A caption comes up; what do you think? Then the film replayed at a wider zoom setting, where you saw the old lady was beneath some collapsing skaffolding, and the man was running to push her out of the way.

  Because of my personality I would for a moment feel offended on the womans part, and then pobably reflect on the fact that it was possible a black shop-clerk inside was saying how some people just had such a lousy attitude. I think (however unfairly) my appraisal of her would count; skank crack-mama would envoke different sympathies from smartly-turned out and dignified.

  What she said seems to lean towards the latter. Still doesn't mean she's not the asshole in the situation.

  Part of the joy of equality is men, women, gays, straights, black, white, Jewish, Muslim, WHATEVER... we all get an equal chance of being an asshole.
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  Rabbit

  And then there is this true story...I pulled up to a gas pump in a predominantly black area in Ft.Worth. I filled-up my truck, walked in and was browsing at the back of the store for a snack, when I overheard the following conversation between the female manager and a young male trainee:

  Manager: OK, like for that white guy, (me) always turn on the pumps and the women, too. But, if it's a black guy...they have to pre-pay...alright?

  Trainee: Uh, OK.

  I didn't hear anything about black women, but, needless to say I was shocked at what was a very racist policy at this Racetrac gas station.

  Both of the employees...were black.

  I paid without comment, because, several customers had come in and were paying -- in advance.

  Rabbit
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  troucul

  Only after watching the Color of Fear did I get it. I guess I'm a racist too. I try not to be, but there's nothing I can do about it. I guess the 'dubs didn't do a good enough job talking about Jehovah's people and how they're color-blind. Maybe I'm over-analyzing it. Maybe no one cares...whatever