Oops, I said too much...........again!

by nonamegiven 5 Replies latest jw experiences

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  nonamegiven

  I went to the meeting yesterday (first time in a month due to a new baby then the other kids getting sick) and the WT study was about showing love for neighbor. Now my main issue with the org is the complete and utter lack of love I have been shown for pretty much my whole life and since that is what Jesus said would define his people it's a sticking point with me. So, while I sat there hearing this I was getting more and more ticked off. Now, I know I made a major mistake in my life (see my story if you want details) but I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to rectify that and change my life totally. So how can you say you should show love to your neighbor but not show love to me just because I made a mistake? Where in the bible does Jesus say to show love to everyone except ones who are DF'd? Where does Jesus make an exception on who to show love to? So, after the meeting I was pissed and went into the coat room to get my coat in. I was so mad that I said "how can these hipocrites (good thing poor spelling doesn't come out in speech huh) talk about showing love? They don't even know what unconditional love is!! They only love you when you fit into thier narrow-minded idea of what a Christian is. Screw 'em!!" Then I turned around to see a brother there. He turned very quickly and left. I didn't see who it was, it could have been an elder from my JC for all I know.

  Crap!
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  megsmomma

  Oopsy-Daisy.....Well.....I can see how that could happen. If you become free from the brain-washing, and think for yourself, It would be impossible to even pretend to swallow their crap.

  I know your goals are to get in to fade....but, it seems that this will be harder than you ever thought, huh? I wish you the best though!
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  OnTheWayOut

  You know what we are going to say.

  Many of us will say "Screw them and their reinstatement. It isn't worth it."
  Others will say "They think they are showing you love by shunning you."

  I agree with both of those. I will add "If you are just playing their game, then
  play by their rules." Just be totally silent in the Hall. Say nothing. Follow my
  advice toward the wife (I posted on your other thread) and say nothing about
  WTS to her. Tell the wife you won't even scold the kids at the hall. You will
  remain silent- she will have to discipline them.

  Get your frustration out- here on JWD. I could never do what you are doing, but
  that's the path you must take for success. Otherwise, say what's on your mind
  and get out of the Hall. As a fader, it's hard, too. I don't have to remain silent, but
  I have to pretend everything is fine. I have to nod and smile for the elders.
  Silence and head bowed can't be much harder, plus you will have to go thru the
  fading part later, so learn to suffer. Much power to you on this difficult path.
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  bebu

  "how can these hipocrites (good thing poor spelling doesn't come out in speech huh) talk about showing love? They don't even know what unconditional love is!! They only love you when you fit into thier narrow-minded idea of what a Christian is. Screw 'em!!"

  Stand by this statement, I say, if you get called in.

  Tell them this is how you feel! That you are trying to come back in, and feel like you are being stomped on by people who say they love you. You can't imagine now that Jesus would approve of this style of "love".

  Your feelings are feelings. You do not feel love, and in fact feel you are being deliberately driven away. It is hard for you to feel attraction now to people whose love will be extended to everyone in the world except to a brother who desires to reconcile. How are they going to argue with your FEELINGS??? Can they realistically tell you that you can't feel sad, upset, betrayed, or frustrated?

  bebu
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  Abandoned

  He turned very quickly and left. I didn't see who it was, it could have been an elder from my JC for all I know.

  When you truly don't know the details of a situation, try to either make no judgment at all or choose a judgment that is empowering. For example, the brother who heard you could have been sensing the same lack of love and hypocrisy that you felt. You may have given him the courage to begin his journey out of the organization.

  Now, which possibility makes you feel more energized? Isn't it the one where you may have inadvertantly helped someone? My point is that since you don't know whether the brother even heard you, understood exactly what you were saying, or realilzed who it was directed at, why create a negative, downward spiral for yourself?
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  J-ex-W

  Good thought, Abandoned.