Why is it everytime I turn around I am supposed to be paranoid?

by Schism 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  Schism

  I know I know, I have too many worries...this is another one of them.

  First, I was raised a JW and was told that we were about to go through the Great Tribulation, a time when men with guns would come to the house and force us out and cut off my 5 year old fingers for not saying the Pledge of Alleigance to the flag? And then to be beaten to death with hammers for being a JW?

  I grow up, and off and on for every little thing that happens, my JW family reminds me that any day now I could be tortured and killed. Every time I start to relax, the weather gets cloudy and everyone wonders if it is Armageddon time or something.

  Now I don't believe in what the JWs preach, and I was feeling really REALLY good about life. I have been becoming more and more optimistic about my future. Wanting to get a job, go to college, take a vacation, move to a beautiful place, etc...

  Finally, after becoming comfortable in the country I live in, I am faced with people telling me that there will be a mass extermination of innocent people and I could be one of them??? Why do I have to even hear this kind of stuff? Is it too much to ask to just not have to worry about some for of tribulation or another? First it's JWs, now it conspiracies? I just want to not have to have these imaginations of being held at gunpoint and tortured to death just for having been born.

  I mean, if what they are saying is true, then obviously the JW prediction that religious people will go to these camps. I don't want to believe this stuff. It makes JWs seem more credible, and that's never a good thing...because they are nuts.

  I just want to grow old with my husband and enjoy life. I wish I didn't ever have to have these worries. Being raised a JW, I have this constant paranoia of being put in concentration camps. I can't even get through the movie "Schindler's List" because it feeds that fear! I watched half of it, and I had to get drunk just to tolerate it.

  I know there's nothing anyone can say to reassure me, but I just had to vent a little. Does anyone else have this sort of paranoia? I try not to read those kind of things when I am on the internet, but I stumble upon them anyway. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. I shouldn't be so young to constantly worry about imminent death. It's insane.
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  Schism

  Oh and what's worse? Being a JW who doesn't go to college because they believe the end will come? Or being a non-JW who doesn't go to college because they believe a holocaust is coming? Either way it seems too unhealthy and it discourages one from pursuing the good things in life because you are just positive that it is hopeless. I want to be hopeful about my future Geez can I get a break?
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  Carmel

  Wow schism, you're sure carrying an unhealthy load of crap from the JW upbringing! Time will eventually begin to errode away the folly of all that fear that has been inculcated into your mind. I recall only brief periods of wondering about if the whole armegeddon doctrin was really true after I left the mental trap of JWdoom. You probably can't afford the luxury of professional counceling, but you may get some reference books on rational analysis. Can't think of any at this point but there is so much out there one can access to help get a new perspective. I do hope someone here can give you some better advice. (((((schism)))) carmel
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  SirNose586

  I know there's nothing anyone can say to reassure me, but I just had to vent a little. Does anyone else have this sort of paranoia? I try not to read those kind of things when I am on the internet, but I stumble upon them anyway. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. I shouldn't be so young to constantly worry about imminent death. It's insane.

  I know what you're talking about. My father is quite paranoid, and his paranoia can be seen in my mental makeup. Being a dub obviously doesn't help in quelling it.

  What I try to do in order to overcome the programming is to little by little, confront my paranoid thinking. I try to think of ways to prove that I shouldn't be so paranoid. For example, getting over the lauded death of 6.5 billion people. I try to find examples of why this makes no sense. There was an article in Readers' Digest about this Catholic priest who started Homeboy Industries, a non-profit organization that gives gang members a job so they can find alternatives to their lives of violence.

  So according to the JWs, this man deserves to die? For what? He effects positive change for people. But yet he is Catholic, and so must die for not being in the right religion. Any God that would want to do this is certifiably insane. So, it makes no sense and I have a little bit of paranoia calmed...
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  Elsewhere

  Boo!!!
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  jaguarbass

  know there's nothing anyone can say to reassure me, but I just had to vent a little. Does anyone else have this sort of paranoia? I try not to read those kind of things when I am on the internet, but I stumble upon them anyway. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. I shouldn't be so young to constantly worry about imminent death. It's insane.

  Thats the baggage we take with us when we leave or stay in the cult.
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  Junction-Guy

  I can understand where you are coming from. The paranoia that is bred by the JW organization can really affect your life. The thing is there is so much conspiracy theorists out there, who is to say who is right? If you watch the news media it is nothing but doom and gloom, especially CBS and CNN. Everywhere you look there is some conspiracy theory concerning George Bush and the Iraq war. I am going through so much problems today that I cant even worry about the distant future. Oh one more thing, just because the JW's say that religion will be persecuted during the great tribulation, doesnt make them right. There are alot of religions who believe in the time of the Antichrist and who believe Christians will be persecuted. If and when religion falls at the hands of the government, I wouldnt doubt that the WT Society has a hand in it.
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  lapazman

  From the time I was 5 or old enough to remember I had nightmares about being tortured, based on the constant breakfast readings of the daily text. It seemed like at least once a week I was questioned on if I would remain faithful regardless of what unhuman feats they would try to break me. Being a child and wanting to believe and please my parents I answered yes. What BS to put ones children through. What mental and emotional abuse. A few (many) years after my dfing, I realized the criminal nature of these teachings and have done my best to rid myself of the paranoid thoughts. Then after being in the 'world' for a while I experienced what I may understand you to be going through. I realized after a while that the media uses the same tactics for profit as do the jw's or is it the other way aroung. Fear sells almost as much as sex sells. Just one ex's view, you need to make the changes yourself.