I forgot to mention..My jw parents came and saw my xmas tree!!!!

by Rayvin 5 Replies latest social family

  • Rayvin
    Rayvin

    They had been asking to visit and usally i tried to visit with them enough before and after so that they wouldnt' feel a need to visit while the tree is up. They went to visit my brother and it went okay. Even though my brother wasn't informed that my mom would be showing up too. Then it was my turn... my dad kept saying that they are gonna come visit then finally called and said "we thought we could come over TOMORROW'. Luckily me and my brother had already discussed this scenario and what to say 'IF'. So i told dad ' i don't mind ya'll coming over at all as long as you don't mind the decorations that we have up". There was a long pause and some stuttering around and he said that he doesn't mind. They came over and lights were on the house.. a moving doe, blow up snowman and candycanes were in front a jingle bell wreath on the door and nice xmas tree all decod right by the front door. The big elephant in the room was never mentioned. The "you are in good standing and reinstated but have all this stuff up" didn't get mentioned even in any passive aggresive comments that we have come to expect from our mother. It was one of the most odd visits i have ever had.

    And sorta of the sub but about my dad... he really is coming around but with mom around him all the time trying to be a 'good jw' it really wont sink in till she is gone. Mom is feeling more ...herself.. lately and is getting more active and talkative. She got hooked up to the meeting yesterday and afterwards started talking with dad about how she is worried about me and what i am doing.. or not doing. Dad is disillusioned enough to know that the jw aren't really his friends etc. I snuck in a quote from Hitler that i saw on this board about repeating info to get people to do what you want and how that is brainwashing. Dad started getting nervous about this discussion. I just calmly scaled back a little saying... dad...it is brainwashing if the elders can plant a seed of guilt so big in you that you leave my wedding and choose not to dance with me at my reception when I didn't do anything wrong. He agreed but wanted to not talk about all this again as it upsets him. ((to hear the truth when you are just starting to see it is pretty painful if i remember correctly))

    Anyway.. that is my jabber session for this morning. Hope everyone is having a great day.

    Rayvin

  • Gill
    Gill

    Rayvin - Well done. As you point out....The Truth hurts!

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    Wow, I liked the way you handled that. Clever. Sounds like you have a good handle on your family and understand their mind set well enough to know what to say/do.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Ah I'm sorry your dad couldn't dance with you at your wedding! And you are right to be sensitive that its difficult in the first period when you start to catch glimmers of what is true - that realisation you have been duped all your life can be overwhelming and crushing.

    However if they havent marched straight off to report you for false worship for having the decorations up which could have you DFed for idolatry I believe then there is definitely hope! They are already "guilty" of coullding for failing to report and witness it to the elders and the longer they fail to do so the harder it will be to avoid any disciplinary action.

    Well done for sticking to your guns (or moving doe and candycanes)!

  • Rayvin
    Rayvin

    The reason he didn't dance with me at my wedding is because my husband was df'd along time ago for heavy petting ONCE with me. And because I dated and chose to marry him the elders counseled me and then talked to my parents about being CAREFUL. The deco'd house could have been easily taken as the disfellowshipped hubby taking his right as head of household to deco for xmas. I am just the subordinate wife. I however didn't give any verbal reasons for them to believe one way or the other.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Hats off to you - clever girl! How pleased the must be to see you remaining in such utter subjection to your hubby in everything!

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