Disassociation Question

Mikeus

My wife is currently trying to fade w/o having to go through a disassociation or dfing. So far when we've had Witnesses come to our door we've been avoiding them. Lately her parents have stopped the usual emails and have made no attempt to contact her. She doesn't know if she can become officially disassociated without her even knowing about it. Can she be da'ed even though she hasn't talked to any elders and no one has talked to her?

Thanks in advance!

lovelylil

The new rule is this:

IF by your actions, you show you are no longer living a lifestyle in accord with being a Jehovah's Witnesses, you will have disfellowshiped yourself. This is left up to the elders in the congregation to decide what these actions are. So yes, you can be DF'd without a hearing at the present time. This may have happened with your wife, OR she may have been "marked" as bad association.

I know a few in my area who have been Df'd by the elders and had their names put on the back of the kh, only to find them when they suddenly showed up at a meeting. (after being gone a good 6 months). Peace, Lilly

OnTheWayOut

To be totally complete in an answer, they cannot have a Judicial Committee to
DF a person without trying to contact that person with every reasonable measure.

If they did not have a JC, then no announcement was made, and the person is not
"officially" DF'ed. If no clear-cut action was taken on the person's part to
disassociate themself from the organization- again no announcement was made and
the person is not "officially" DA'ed. Clear-cut action can be going to church or
participating in Holiday festivities, voting, campaigning, joining the military, taking whole
blood, probably a few other things.

What that means- IF NO ANNOUNCEMENT WAS MADE, then the individuals can
decide that your actions disassociate you, while other individuals can decide to speak
to you, freely. Usually, you are just "marked" either by a talk at the hall or just by common
knowledge. That means that JW's should be cautious around you, limiting association.
Marking will cause people to have to decide how much association they have, but they also
have to consider the example they set if they are/want to be elders, MS, pioneers, etc.
A marking talk can be given without your knowledge. A shrewd sneaky JC committee can
also claim they tried to contact you before their JC, and then make an announcement of
DF (or DA) without your knowledge.

JWdaughter

Can your wife contact her parents to ask them why they are no longer in contact? Did they give her a clue or just stop returning or making calls?

This is another instance of the WT's entirely unbiblical way of 'shunning' or 'disassociating'. The Bible clearly says that one is to actually confront the other with what you believe is the 'sin'. To simply stop communicating-as parents especially-is quite low. If your wife is sure that her parents don't have any other issues (health, worry, ticked off cause you bought something they don't approve of. . .)she wouldn't have to worry about them, but they owe her an explanation at the very least.

Mikeus

OnTheWayOut - Thanks for the info. Judging from what you said, I think she's probably been marked.

JWdaughter - Yeah my wife could call, but she doesn't want to get cornered with questions about holidays, churches, etc (understandably).

OnTheWayOut

The Hall I attend, there are a few who are so judgemental. I am sure that now as I skip
book study and miss more other meetings than even before, I will be unofficially "marked."

I have kind of been "in your face" about some things with the elder body, so they might
even have a talk, officially marking me. Most in the hall won't be clear who they are
marking, as there are many weak ones, unless they say "Some who used to be elders
and now are irregular publishers." I can hardly wait. The wife will see how most people
avoid her, to avoid me. Marking won't affect my relationship with my mother or contact
with JW's. It really would be a favor to me.

Cindi_67

Well I'll say! That is probably what has happened to me then. I haven't had a visit from anybody from my congregation since June or July of last year. Not a call, not a visit, not a note that they have been by my house. Nothing, zip, nada. Probably the voice has spread that I might be either a bad association, or that I am no longer part of the congregation or something, so they have "shunned" me in their own way. I wrote a letter back in June , not of DA, telling them about my feelings and apparently I was too upfront in some of the things I said and they took it very seriously, I guess. A lot of them live just streets from my house and not one dares to come to my house and say Hi, or Is there anything you need?

I don't need them anymore. I've been through a lot without them and haven't killed myself yet. So if they think they are indispensable, they are wrong.

Lady Liberty

To be totally complete in an answer, they cannot have a Judicial Committee to
DF a person without trying to contact that person with every reasonable measure.

Of course don't forget, they can justify lying by calling it "spiritual warfare"!! That is what they have done to us! They never called us to try and get with us, but when active family members were demanding why after 8 months had they not returned to answer our questions ( re:607) they conviently LIED telling them they had called and called but we woudn't return our calls! Which was a BOLD FACE LIE! So of course our family members believe the "elders"! And indicated we have been lying to them! After that, they cut off all communication with us! Funny thing is that not 2 days later after they called the elders, the P.O. miraculously got through to us and asked for a meeting. We were so pissed off at what they had said, that we told them we no longer wanted to meet. A dollar short and and about 8 MONTHS TO LATE!!

So my point is..if they feel your wife is a threat, they can easily DF her and CLAIM that they tried and tried to reach her for a meeting, but she refused! No one would dare take her word over theirs! It is sad, but they can have it all neatly sewed up real fast if they want to.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Disassociation Question

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