How long is hate good for you?

Snoozy

In reading Richie's post it got me to wondering..How long is hate healthy?

I always heard you should hate what someone does to you rather than hate the person.In all my watching and learning years I have reconciled myself to the fact that if you continue to have hate in your heart for someone you were only hurting yourself. Usually I have found when someone carries a hate for someone for many years..that person is still controlling you..you won't ever truly be happy.

Also in my many years on this planet...I have come to realize that many things affect others behavior..Illness..upbringing..mental health issues..I also realized you have to get out of that persons life..it is not healthy for you...but not carry the grudges of the hurt they caused you..as that too can hurt you..

So I thought " I wonder how others feel"?

garybuss

I wonder if hate and resentment are different.

LongHairGal

I know hate is not good for anybody healthwise. But, feeling hate can't be helped especially when you feel betrayed by somebody or something you trusted. The problem is moving on. It is easier if somebody is very young because they invested less time. Once the routine is "out of your mind" and the habit is broken you should get back to normal. It is hard to say how long this should take. If you are a very young person (late teens - early 20s) with little time in (with no traumas like being molested) you should get back to "normal" in a year. There will be reminders from time to time but this is to be expected. You may be a little off track time-wise as far as college goes, but you can still catch up.

The real tragedy is when people were stuck for very long. You can't get back lost time. This is actually lost "life" if you think about it. How can you put a price on it? A person in middle age or older may still find happiness but they cannot really make up for lost youth. Some people may be lucky with a little help from sympathetic friends. If they are especially talented they may do well financially.

The thing is to be positive and not be swallowed up by bitterness.

LHG

Tyrone van leyen

Good question Gary Iv'e felt both for many years and I think it can be also seen as a fighting sprit. Years of fighting an entity though can be very toxic after a while. Your approach seems very clever in that you have found a way to veiw it, and laugh at it. Your always at your funniest when your being serious though. I can see the funny side of things when I'm not overcome by the sadness and tragic side of things

RAF

I have reconciled myself to the fact that if you continue to have hate in your heart for someone you were only hurting yourself

I've hated my father for not showing us a bit of love, I've hated my father for the way he disrespected my mother in many, many, many ways ... I just couldn't stop hating this guy ... and one day about almost year ago I've called my little sister (as it was a long time we haven't talked together, she told me about his ways to ignore her, crying saying that she is just waiting for our grand mother to dies to meet him at her funeral to tell him what she thinks about him ... that's when I realise how far this was going ... I've wondered about myself : what if I can talk to him what would I say? ... I just realised that he deserved nothing special since he don't care about us ... He is just what he is, a man who do not care about others even his kids ... and I don't want to suffer anymore about that ! ... our hate was our pain not his.

becca1

Hate will eat you up. It's a destructive emotion. Letting go of the hate is calming, restores your balance. That does not mean that you should continue to have dealings with people who hurt you. You learn you lessons and move on, don't wast your life on hate.

RichieRich

Snoozy, I hope you were just pondering hatred as you read my thread, and not that you think I was expressing hatred.

I was expressing a mixture of anger, apathy, success, and failure.

Sorry if I misled.

How long is hate good for you?

Snoozy

garybuss

LongHairGal

Tyrone van leyen

RAF

becca1

RichieRich

UnConfused

OUTLAW

Fleshybirdfodder

Share this