Being exiled, being a goat, trusting your mind . . .

by Madame Quixote 3 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Madame Quixote

  . . . this is a nice intro to The Writer's Almanac. If you're unfamiliar with it, it's a quick radio broadcast of poetry-readings and reflections by host Garrison Keillor about the lives of great writers and famous people.

  Today, among other quotes, Keillor spoke of Virgil Suarez, who said:

  " . . . I wrote . . . to remember. The life of an exile is chaos."

  It made me think of a particular discussion here at JWD (from last evening) about leaving the JWs, and of how difficult it is for so many of us to leave it behind, settle into "the world," and outgrow the mind-control of the JWs. There is also a reading here of a poem, entitled "The Virtue Of Trusting One's Mind."

  http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media/player/almanac/2007/01/29_wa.ram

  I don't feel that the website has the same impact as the spoken words, especially in this case, since some of what was spoken is left out in the written web page:

  http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/
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  anewme

  That was very interesting Madame. I never thought of goats having any virtues. I guess I havent spent much time with them, near them to study.
  But maybe their stubbornness and willfullness could be appreciated more as "centeredness" and knowing their own minds.
  
  I have a chicken like that. Thought she'd make good soup! But now I think I will study her and maybe take a lesson from her how to be more confident in my own choices!
  
  Im sure I was one of the commenters who spoke of my ongoing angst over the whole JW thing.
  
  
  The other morning I woke up with a new realization! My leaving my marriage and the organization was entirely MY CHOICE! Yes, it was painful but I GOT OUT! And that was the main objective!
  
  Why should I suffer still over a decision I made to save my sanity? It is only human and reasonable to flee a very bad and dangerous situation.
  You are right! We should be more like those creatures who are more confident. And be happy we have survived an awful thing and now are free!
  
  Thankyou Madame!
  
  
  Anewme
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  mrsjones5

  I love The Writer's Almanac. I try to listen to it every morning (comes on here at 9am on NPR). I always find something to relate to in the poems Keillor reads.

  Josie
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  Madame Quixote

  I like it a lot, too, Josie. When I have NPR tuned in, it comes on with my "late alarm" at 8:30. It's a pleasant, meditative way to start the day - a whole lot better than that horrible beeping alarm that sounds like a dump truck backing into my bed.

  I wasn't in love with the goat poem, anewme; although I could see how the poet related the goat's behaviour to herself. I didn't exactly relate in her way, but I like the idea of "trusting one's mind," something growing up JW (and growing up with a mentally ill parent) often did not permit me to do. I am getting quite a bit better at the virtue of trusting my mind, though! Choosing to leave the borg makes it quite a bit easier.

  The main point of Writer's Almanac (Monday) that stuck with me was the quote of Virgil Suarez about how 'living in exile is chaos'. I suppose that is true for many of us when we first leave the JWs - (or when they exile us with disfellowshipping) - because we're so isolated from the reality of goodness (and of how to find it), and we sometimes have trouble avoiding the reality of meanness. Once we get out on our own, living well or successfully can be elusive and involve a lot of hit-or-miss due to lack of family and friends for support and stability.

  I don't mean to suggest that the choice to leave is a bad one, Anewme. I have no regrets in choosing to leave, despite all the hit or miss chaos and depression of my early years out of the borg. I also choose to stay away from it. I too am pleased with that choice.