Who has not looked in a mirror and marvelled at the wonder that is the nose? It provides a delightful symetry to many people's faces, and allows us to enjoy the odors of our daily lives. But how does Jehovah view the nose? Turning to Solomon 15:15, we learn that heathen gods do not have noses: "For they counted all the idols of the heathen to be gods: which neither have the use of eyes to see, nor noses to draw breath". Clearly, the nose is intended to be used for the pure worship of Jehovah. But what of those who use the nose for ungodly purposes? Ezekial 8:17 tells of a time when wicked men used their noses to provoke Jehovah. "Is it a light thing to the house of Judah that they commit the abominations which they commit here? For they put the branch to their nose." It is obvious that a true follower of Jehovah would not "put the branch to their nose". Additionally, nose-branch putting can flatten the nose that was given to you by Jehovah. One who is strong in the faith would avoid those with flat noses. Leviticus 21:18 tells us "For whatsoever man he be that has a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that has a flat nose". What should one who has become ensnared in the filthy habit of putting the branch to your nose do? Obviously, you must put such thoughts far from your mind. You may find you have thoughts of nose-branch putting at night, while lying in bed. It would be wise to avoid such situations. Rather than sleeping, put your time to valuable use, preparing for the next study, or sharing the Watchtower from door to door.
watchtower article parodies
by ctrx 5 Replies latest social humour
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Crumpet
Sniggers! Okay thats funny! You've earned a bright and cheery welcome from me to the board ctrx. So have you been here before or just a long time lurker ???
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ctrx
Thanks for the welcome, Crumpet! I came across this board just a few days ago when doing a web search on jw humor. I haven't had any connection with the jw's since I was a late teenager, but still enjoy a good watchtower joke once in a while.
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megsmomma
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT was too funny! Great humor! Welcome!
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AlmostAtheist
Nice work! Very believable! Which is, in itself, unbelievable, but thats precisely the sort of circular nonsense that works beautifully in the mocking-the-watchtower genre!
Welcome to JWD!
Best.first.post.ever
Dave
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ctrx
Thanks to everyone for the welcomes! My brother and I (and some of my cousins, as well) used to enjoy poking a bit of fun at the kingdom hall "talks" afterwards. I always had to remember not to use our private terms like "circuit serpent" and "seperating the creeps from the goats" when we were at the hall with other jw's. Though it seems from reading other threads on this board, we were far from the only ones to use terms like that :) So now I am curious what funny words or terms other people have used to replace jw talk?