The Delusion of Certitude

by IsaacJS2 7 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  IsaacJS2

  The Delusion Of Certitude PT 1

  And How We, The "The Lost Sheep," Help Them Maintain It

  No one has enough information about the universe to truly know if they have "The Truth." To me, anyone who claims to have the absolute, ultimate truth of everything is literally claiming to have absolute knowledge. Yet this is simply beyond our grasp. All we do have is a highly subjective worldview. Still, that doesn't stop us from craving The Truth. We also desire control, and believe it or not, I think the Witnesses have another catch-phrase I'd like to introduce: the illusion of choice.

  I believe that Jehovah's Witnesses (and other people with extreme, absolutist worldviews) are addicted to this false sense of certitude. They have convinced themselves that their worldview is the only one that could possibly be The Truth. The Watchtower's system of things is designed to reinforce this easily fractured ideology. I think many of us have little trouble believing that one, so I won't go into too much detail. But while the meetings and literature go a long ways toward reinforcing their worldview every other day of every week of their lives, I think that field service is the real key.

  There are generally 3 possible outcomes at every door a Witness knocks on. Either no one is home (the most common outcome) they aren't interested (the 2nd most likely outcome) or they find someone who wants to know more (the rarest outcome). Surprising as it may sound, I think all 3 of these plays a big part in strengthening their worldview.

  1) The householder isn't home. Many of us have breathed a sigh of relief when we hit one of these. But here's something you may not have thought of. I believe that field service, along with meeting attendance and obedience to the Society, actually give the Witness the illusion of choice. By carrying out the ritual of the door to door work, along with the other commitments I mentioned, the Witness is actively electing for the only positive future they can believe in. As all ex-Witnesses know, the Society's ideology allows for only two possible outcomes: eternal life, or death when this system comes to an end. (Which could happen any second now...) So even when there's no one home, the Witness is doing what they must to choose life. To them, we're the ones who are condemned to a life or slavery. In order to remain in control, they must constantly reaffirm their choice over and over throughout their lives.

  2) The householder is home, but not interested. I don't think most Witnesses are too bothered by this. As far as they're concerned, they did what they had to do in order to choose life. Yet when the householder gave that inner groan we've all seen as soon as they recognize the cheap suits and the handbags, the Witness knows they aren't really listening. As a Witness might say, their heart is closed to the Good News. Since the householder isn't really giving their message a chance, their refusal doesn't bother the Witness in the slightest. "They can't see how right I am if they won't give it a chance!" So the householder's rejection doesn't cause any doubt. And even if this outcome isn't immediately apparent when the person opens the door, the Witness just shrugs it off as the householder's loss. By contrast, they are reminded of how great it is to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses instead of being "like those worldly people." After all, the person had their chance for eternal life and chose badly. Right? Meanwhile, the Witness is still actively choosing life with each meeting they attend and every door they knock on. Like I said, the Witnesses feel they are in control and they are gladdened by their worldview even as they feel pity for poor slobs like us. They can't imagine backsliding and giving it all up.

  3) The household is home and interested in their Truth! Here we have the Holy Grail. The Witness's time and effort has been appreciated, making them feel charitable and wise. This is a person who gets it. "See, I knew we weren't crazy!" They feel empowered and vindicated by this. If they begin a Bible study with the householder, this feeling is renewed every single time they so much as think about it. And soon, they'll have another new face (there are always new faces here or there) that shares in their absolutist worldview. The more new faces, the better. They feel like they are making progress toward their goal of eternal life--the goal they have chosen for themselves by serving the Watchtower Society.

  These are the basics I wanted to get you thinking about. (Shortened, believe it or not, from the original) But here's the big part: We, the "lost sheep," actually play into their need for certitude. I think this explains why Witnesses behave so bizarrely around us. After all, most of them take it personally for no good reason and behave very badly. Their actions will obviously do more to push us away from their True Religion than pull us in. Yet they can't seem to help themselves. I think I can answer why in part 2.

  IsaacJ
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  IsaacJS2

  The Delusion Of Certitude PT 2

  And How We, The "Lost Sheep," Help Them Maintain It

  This is the part I really wanted to get at. As I discussed earlier, I believe the Witnesses are addicted to a delusionally reassuring worldview. That worldview is so brittle that it requires constant maintenance from meetings, obedience to a higher power, and field service. And I think it can explain some of the completely bizarre antics we've all experienced from them in one form or another.

  One of the ways that Witnesses reinforce their worldview is by surrounding themselves with others who share it. They even go out of their way to avoid people who have different ideas about most anything. But when one of us chooses to leave (whether by fading, getting disfellowshipped without trying to return, or disassociated) that puts a crack in its foundation. We know what they know, after all, and we still reject it as "The Truth." The ones who know us and respect us begin to panic when this occurs.

  They panic, at least in part, because this is cause for doubt. We put a crack in their certitude, and now they need reassurance. They want us to make them feel better. And some of them are willing to demand it! Which is why they can get so pushy when commons sense says they should leave us alone. (Even disfellowshipped ex-Witnesses have stories like these)

  Think about some of the things they say and do. What happens when you tell them to go away? Do they leave you alone? Not often. Their need is just too great. Instead, they hang around and start hurling bizarre accusations that are more offensive than helpful.

  1. "Say what you want, but you know it's The Truth! When are you going to get is together and do what's right???"

  They actually say this despite the obvious fact that you disagree. You left, did you not? You might have even told them this, only to have them repeat this statement back at you. I think they are hoping for some sign they can interpret as an acknowledgment that they are correct, or that you regret your decision to leave. That, of course, would reassure them. And somehow, they always manage to find such a sign, do they not?

  2. "You know how awful it is out there in the world. Only Jehovah's Witnesses will make it into the New System!"

  They say this despite the fact that the system might not end before you die, or the fact that you obviously don't believe they have the True Religion at all. Threats carry no power if you don't believe in them. I think they are really hoping to find a sign from you that can be interpretted as some sort of tacit agreement. They want to see you sweat so they feel reassured that you know, deep down, you made the wrong choice. This makes them glad they made the right choice, as they see it.

  3. "How could you do this to me!" I've heard many disfellowshipped ex-Witnesses get this from their families. Then what happens when you tell them you didn't do it to anyone? They don't seem to listen, do they? Or if you ask them what they mean, they get evasive. "You know what I mean!" I think they are really just outraged that you rejected a worldview that is so intertwined with their sense of self that, in effect, you rejected them. You also made it harder for them to retain that worldview, which is delicate enough as it is.

  There are plenty of other examples. I'm trying not to make this too long, but feel free to offer others and the rationale behind it. My point is that, to me at least, their behavior makes more sense in this context. They are behaving defensively, in an almost panic-driven state, to save their delusion of certitude. That is why they seem so desperate.

  I think we should act calmly and confidently when they stop by to confront us. This is probably the only way to avoid giving them what they crave. If you seem defensive or reluctant to speak for fear of hurting their feelings, they'll decide you aren't sure if you've made the right choice, or tell themselves you're in denial about the horrible choice you've made. If you overreact and get angry, they'll see that as a sign that you're over compensating.

  So you have to be in control and avoid pleading your case to them. You have already made up your mind about this, and you made the right choice, so act like it. You shouldn't try to justify yourself to them. Remember, they are the ones who are screwed up--not you! If you can limit yourself to responding calmly and simply to their accusations (with a bored or indulgent little smile) you'll probably make out a lot better. Just let it all wash off of you and don't let them think their opinion counts so much as yours does to them. Make sure they know you are comfortable with your new life, and don't be afraid to ask if they need help getting through their own. If you let them take pity on you, they can still feel like they are in a better place than you are, and that's exactly how they want it to be.

  What do you think?

  IsaacJ
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  tall penguin

  Great articles Isaac! Your commentary is right on. When someone they know leaves the org, the current JW must do mental gymnastics to hold on to their certitude. It is cognitive dissonance to the extreme. No wonder there's so much mental and emotional illness among them. Trying to hold onto "The Truth" while seeing others they know and love reject it and live normal and happy lives, is enough to make their heads explode. And yet, they will not give it up. To do so means a death to their ego. Not a death many are willing to undergo.
  
  tall penguin
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  Asheron
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  Madame Quixote

  I must disagree that there are 3 possible outcomes at each door a JW knocks on. A 4th outcome might be that the house is on fire. Or, the householder is home, but is dead or otherwise entirely indisposed. Any others?
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  Anitar

  Good afternoon Isaac and welcome to the board!
  
  I've said many times here before that I believe the ideal witness is one who is mostly unaware that the Watchtower even exists. To them, it's their mother, and you never question your mother. That's how the Watchtower likes them. So as a result, many of those who end up being disfellowshipped are those who believed the JW message the most, those who were the most dedicated ones. They felt their faith was an impregnable shield, just the way Mother wants them to feel, but in their hunger to find all the knowledge of the Watchtower, they unintentionally stumbled upon the REAL TRUTH. At some point along the way, their faith and confidence comes crashing down around them like a house of cards.
  
  My mother is the perfect ideal witness. She bounces out of bed every morning (as much bouncing as she can muster being a handicapped single woman of 60 with slowly decling health), and I've literally heard her proclaim to an empty room, "ah! another day of saving lives! I can't wait!!!"
  
  She's energetic, enthuastic, pushy, arrogant, and unaware of the much more important things that need to be done during the day. She poineeres at least 20 hours a week. She goes to all the meetings, and like every good witness, she knows exactly when to fall asleep. She'll doze off doing her sunday Watchtower and wake up and underline the answer in a hurry as if God is peeking over her shoulder. I often wonder how the message of the good news, God's kingdom rule come to Earth, and the vital importance of the preaching work, can be so sinfully boring. On some level, she knows the elders are using her as bait because it's harder for a stranger to slam the door in the face of a woman in a wheelchair. And just as you said, she loves it. It reaffirms her narrow-minded world view that she is right and the world is wrong. After all, how could it hurt you when it feels so good?
  
  However, the moment you start talking to her about the Watchtower itself, trying to get her to examine their teachings from an objective point of view, her mouth slowly droops open, her eyes glaze over and slide out of focus. When you show her facts, concrete evidence of the endless indescretions of the Watchtower, she goes into zombie mode, spitting out phrases like "we're not the ones who are saying it, the Bible is!"
  
  Suddenly, it's like the Watchtower doesn't exist anymore, yet just five seconds ago she was spouting their teachings as if they were God himself. And then something interesting happens, something that is the final nail in the coffin of our conversation. She shakes her head and a slight smile plays across her face and she gives me the most kind, gentle, pitiful, and revolting look anyone ever gives me. She is pitying me, I'm such a poor fool that I'm rejecting the truth and will be destroyed by God at any second.
  
  I bet you know that look. It's the look you give your favorite pet when he doesn't know he's about to be put to sleep. It's the look you give a six year old child when they don't understand their daddy is going to jail and never coming back. It's the look the person you love gives you when you tell them your feelings for the first time, and you know they want nothing to do with you no matter how nice they let you down. I hate that look more than anything in the world, and my mom gives it to me every single day.
  
  So, I know what you mean by the delusion of certitude. If only the Watchtower weren't so blindly convinced of their own superiority, I would still have a mother today.
  
  Anitar
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  IsaacJS2

  Glad I got to meet you, Anitar...even if it's only in this electronic room.

  I began thinking about the exact thing you mention when this realization about their delusional state hit me. They really are looking down on us, pitying us, and letting them do that puts them at the advantage. It allows them to be "up there" in their ivory watchtower above while the rest of us slobs are down here.

  But when our worldviews collide, they sort of need our participation. They need us to bend down and be a footstool so they can get into their towers. We don't have to bend, however. It only feeds into their mental state and puts us in the position of having to plead our case. That's one of the most infuriating things about them. The assumption that they are right and that we need their help...if only we would stop living in denial. Our decency makes it hard for us to turn the tables on them even though they're the ones who deserve to be pitied.

  IsaacJ
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  Outaservice

  Good Read

  Outaservice