My mom just sent me one. You know, we love you so much; we don't want to lose you; don't risk your precious little boy's life; blah blah blah, garbage blah dronetalk. Made me so angry I can't even talk about it. The ONLY reason I haven't DA'd myself is for THEM! I'm trying not to freak out and do anything in the heat of the moment, but I'm just so angry and hurt. Its not enough that I wasted my entire life in the Borg, now they want me to come back and be miserable some more! They KNOW how unhappy I was and yet, it's not enough. I don't care that they think they're doing the best for me, that doesn't matter. What matters is what it did to me - the result, not the EFFING INTENT!!! Otherwise Osama Bin Laden would be considered a great guy, right!!! Sorry, I'm sure this is a little incoherent, I'm just so bloody angry!!!!
Just Got One of THOSE Letters...
by brunnhilde 7 Replies latest jw friends
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Synergy
I hear ya sweetheart. Do what you can to help them out of it. Lashing back at them for their ignorance will probably only make them think you're getting demonized. Try to show them little by little the errors of the Watchtower. Take your anger to God. He can handle it. Hugs to you.
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looking_glass
Welcome to my world. I got a letter last week from mummy dearest and it said essentially the same thing but ended w/ I will not talk to you til you return to Jah cause it is in your best interest. Oh, I did not wait until I cooled down. I just said, I am your daughter and you are my mother. When you are ready to love me unconditionally like a mother should, I will be here. But it is your choice and I will respect the choice you make, whether it is never speaking to me again or coming to your senses, it is your choice. My guess she will not talk to me for a while and then call one day and act like nothing happened. But it makes them people that we cannot trust because clearly they use their "love" as a weapon of mass destruction and really who wants to be on the receiving end of that!
Good luck to ya, whatever you do. Just know that you are not experiencing something that others here have not experienced already. This place is great for resources and/or a sounding board.
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Scully
You know, we love you so much; we don't want to lose you; don't risk your precious little boy's life; blah blah blah, garbage blah dronetalk
This is your opportunity to tell them that you love them too, but that you do not appreciate them trying to manipulate you with emotional blackmail regarding your child's life. They were parents to you and got to raise you as they thought was best. It is now your turn to raise your child the way you believe in your heart to be best.
I like to point out when I get snarky messages from my JW family that while they may be able to overlook some fundamental flaws in the belief system, I was raised (by them btw) to value certain things like honesty and ethical behaviour, and that I therefore conscientiously object to certain practices within the WTS - such as the treatment of child molestation cases requiring two eyewitnesses in order for judicial action to be taken - and that I will not put my children in a position to be guinea pigs while the WTS carries on the foolhardy experiment of allowing sexual predators to roam freely in congregations and at conventions while families attend thinking that their children are in a safe place.
Certainly Jehovah would not require anyone to put a child in harm's way. But the WTS does!
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avishai
((((brunhilde))))
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blondie
I just send them back.
What I'd like to do with them on their doorstep.
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AuldSoul
((((brunnhilde)))),
That's just the point. It is never enough. That is what conditional love is all about. You are only acceptable as long as you are pretending to be someone you are not to please those who judge you.
You have integrity. Don't feel bad about that.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
IsaacJS2
I have posted my little theory about this sort of thing in the Bible Research and Study Articles section. It's a much shorter version of the one in the essay I keep whining about. To be honest, I really don't think they do this for us so much as for themselves. They are looking for reassurance that their worldview is correct. If they have to, they'll try to get some reaction out of you that they can interpret as a sign that you regret your choices. So goes my theory at any rate.
If you let them hurt your feelings or see how outraged you are, they'll twist those signs into something that supports their point of view. Try acting calm and just sort of brush the whole thing off as if it didn't faze you in the slightest. (That goes for everyone who has to deal with this sort of crap) This shows them that you are happy with your new life and that you aren't seeking their approval because you don't need it. Simply tell them calmly how it is...or even worse, pity them instead of letting them pity you. After all, you wouldn't be pitying them unless you saw yourself in a much better place, right? But they want you to feel as if they are the ones in the right. They want to be above you.
I bet they'll wig out if you write or call to thank them for their concern, but tell them not to bother. Everything's great and you couldn't be happier. Then ask if there's anything you can do for them. "Yeah, I know how it was for me when I was in the Society. I worry about you guys sometimes..."
See what I mean?
IsaacJ