Marriage pointers for Trev & Linda??????

crazyblondeb

Since the news is finally out about the upcoming wedding, anyone got any words of advice for the soon-to-be newly weds??

I just hope one day I can find a man-servant, too, as good as Trev is!!

crazyblondeb

Ok, then, since no one else is taking the bait, I'll start!!

For Trev:

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just
say "you're welcome".

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F--- YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several
times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man
asking, "What's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.

dedpoet

Thanks CBD

I will keep those tips in mind lol, I may need them one day!

Trev

Elsewhere

A young couple were married and then embarked on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride ran to the phone and called her mother, who asked, "How was your honeymoon, dear?" "Oh, mama!" she replied, "The honeymoon was so wonderful and romantic..." But then, suddenly she burst out crying and said "but, mama, as soon as we returned home, he started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"
"Darling, darling," her mother said, "calm down and tell me, what words could be so awful?" And, the daughter cried "please don't make me tell you, mama! I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! Just come and get me, please!"
"Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset... tell me these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're happy, dear."

Halfway through the wedding the girl whispered, "Mommy, if brides wear white because they're happy, then why do men wear black?"

http://www.countryweddings.com/humor/

dedpoet

Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset... tell me these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

Thanks Elsewhere.
I'm the one who usually hears those words.....

A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're happy, dear."

Halfway through the wedding the girl whispered, "Mommy, if brides wear white because they're happy, then why do men wear black?"

Well, I'll be in a black suit, but Linda is wearing peach

Elsewhere

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/92142/wedding_traditions_and_their_origins.html

Wedding Traditions and Their Origins

By Kathryn Lemmon

Most of our modern wedding traditions have their origin in times past. Here's a sampling.

The Bridal Shower tradition has its roots in the 1800's. The story is told of poor a miller who fell in love with a wealthy maiden. But, the father of the maiden was against the marriage. He refused to provide a dowry for her, and a bride could not marry without a dowry. The story goes that the bride had generous friends who "showered" her with so many gifts, they could forego the missing dowry.

Why "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?" The "old" was usually a personal gift from mother to daughter, a symbolic piece of wisdom for married life. The "new" symbolized the new family being formed by the marriage. "Borrowing" is especially important since it is to come from a happily married woman, thereby lending the bride some of her own marital bliss. "Blue" has two traditions, ancient Roman maidens wore blue on the borders of their robes to denote love, fidelity and modesty, while Christians associate it with the purity of the Virgin Mary.

In very early days, fathers would offer daughters as peace offerings to warring tribes. Because of the hostility, the families were placed on opposite sides of the church so the ceremony could proceed without bloodshed. The ceremony united the two warring factions into one family, and the danger was resolved. Today, family members still sit on opposite sides.

Because the early Anglo Saxon groom often had to defend his bride from would-be kidnappers, she stood to his left, leaving his sword-arm free just in case. The "best" warrior in the tribe stood by the groom and was responsible for helping defend the bride, should the need arise. Thus we have the placement for the best man.

Ever wonder where the phrase "tie the knot" comes from? Supposedly this also goes back to early Roman times. The bride would wear a girdle that was tied in many knots, which the groom had the "duty" to untie. As a side note, this can also refer to the tying of the knot in Handfasting Ceremonies, which were usually done without the benefit of clergy.

In early times the bride had to be carried over the threshold because she was (or was pretending to be) reluctant to enter the bridal chamber. In those days, it was considered ladylike to be hesitant at this point. Another legend has it that the bride was carried over the threshold to protect her from any evil spirits which might be lingering there.

The term "Honeymoon" also originated centuries ago. It was the custom for couples to get married beneath a full moon. Then they would drink honey wine for thirty days in a row, to foster good luck. This created the term honeymoon.

The wedding cake originated from the ancient custom where a loaf of wheat bread was broken over the bride's head to symbolize hope for a fertile and fulfilling life. The guests ate the crumbs which were believed to offer good luck. The custom found it's way to England in the Middle Ages where guests would bring small cakes to a wedding and put them in one large pile. The bride and groom were expected to stand over the cakes and kiss.

Loud noises were said to drive away evil spirits, and during the ceremony the guests would make noises to keep the evil away. Today, it's traditional that the bridal party honk their car horns and drag rattling tin cans while leaving the ceremony.

Marriage pointers for Trev & Linda??????

crazyblondeb

crazyblondeb

dedpoet

Elsewhere

dedpoet

Elsewhere

Wedding Traditions and Their Origins

BabaYaga

candidlynuts

crazyblondeb

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