Some of you may know that I have spoken to my mom about the info I have found about JW and WBTS. My in laws on the other hand know nothing. They just know that we no longer go to meetings. They phoned this morning telling us that they are going to be staying with us for a week. It just happens that we are busy with the Alpha Course and I will be away for a ladies christian retreat for the weekend while they are here. The funny thing is that they have very little to do with us as they live quite far and since we have not been to meetings they have cut down communication to minimum. The reason for their visit however is that there is a quick build kh going up in the area and my PO FIL needs to be there. So now we are good enough for a visit, free accomodation!! So here's my dilema, should you pre-warn them of our "apostate" views or just let them arrive and deal with it. I still want to be respectful to them and would like the kids to see their grandparents. We also have faded but are not da or df. My FIL may want to take things up with our x KH and we could be df or be forced da ourselves. If that happens it will put me in a difficult situation with my folks. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun and should take a deep breath.
Help, the in laws are coming to visit
by Mrs Smith 8 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
AgentSmith
It is a puzzle. Low profile till they leave, or rock the boat?The 'coming out' thing seems to be inevitable.....
-
mrsjones5
Would it be rude to ask them to get a hotel room?
-
Dismembered
Greetings Mrs Smith,
The funny thing is that they have very little to do with us as they live quite far and since we have not been to meetings they have cut down communication to minimum. The reason for their visit however is that there is a quick build kh going up in the area and my PO FIL needs to be there. So now we are good enough for a visit, free accomodation!!
It would be a cold day in hell that I would accommodate dubs in my house, relatives or not, for the purpose of "furthering kingdom interest." I.E. a "quickbuild."
We've tried having dub relatives here since our escape from the sick cult, and, I found myself either having to walk on eggshells (in my own home mind you) or with some I'd get confrontational. From this point foward I/we, are not willing to put up with relatives who are practicing dubs. The "oh you should put me up in your house because I'm a dub" attitude will never ever work here.
Why should you have to inconvenience yourselves, after you've admittedly pointed out, the reason for their visit is a total matter of convenience for them. Sounds to me like they're just being the opportunistic dubs, that dubs are, and nothing more. I'm with mrsjones5. Let them get a hotel.
Dismembered
-
greendawn
Yeah if you can find a polite excuse to direct them elsewhere it would be better rather than try to be good and then have to face disagreeable consequences while offering them hospitality in your own home. Why don't they get some accomodation with the local dubs since they are there to serve the org?
-
Mrs Smith
We sugested they stay with a JW family that they are friends with but they said they would rather stay with us.
-
Mary
The reason for their visit however is that there is a quick build kh going up in the area and my PO FIL needs to be there. So now we are good enough for a visit, free accomodation!! So here's my dilema, should you pre-warn them of our "apostate" views or just let them arrive and deal with it. I still want to be respectful to them and would like the kids to see their grandparents. We also have faded but are not da or df. My FIL may want to take things up with our x KH and we could be df or be forced da ourselves. If that happens it will put me in a difficult situation with my folks. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun and should take a deep breath.
If you want to avoid getting the axe, I would not tell them of your 'apostate' views. It's just not worth it if you've still got family in that you care about. I would either tell them that you're going to be away that weekend, or tell them that you've already got people staying with you that weekend and there just isn't room. Surely with all the agape love amongst the brothers, someone from the local Hall could put them up.
Typical Witness mentality: they barely speak to you but they're willing to freeload off you. I'd be careful about leaving your grandkids alone in their company too. If your in-laws know that you're not going to the meetings anymore, they'll more than likely use that time to tell your kids about how upset Jehovah is because they're not attending meetings.
-
blondie
Barely talk to you but willing to freeload = typical JW approach.
I weigh in on the side of having them stay at a hotel. That will give you more privacy. They will snoop you know checking for bad videos/CDs, books, computer sites, holiday decorations, etc. Why put yourself at risk. No need to tell them anything...they aren't entitled to it.
When people ask a prying question, I respond: "Why do you ask"? If they come up with a response, then I say, "Actually that is a private matter" and change the subject.
I remember Scully and a couple of others having experiences of JW relatives barely talking to them until money came into the picture.
Blondie
-
mrsjones5
We sugested they stay with a JW family that they are friends with but they said they would rather stay with us.
Which means that they can find other accomadations but would rather imposed (rather rudely I don't care if they are related it's still rude) on you. Buck up honey and tell them that it's not a good time for you. That's true right? You really don't have the time to cater to them and they didn't even ask but told you they would be staying with you - not good. Take back your control of your house and family and tell them to either stay with their friends or get a hotel room.
Josie