Ever had a JW flashback hit you when you least expect it? I mean, out living your life, not even on this board or anything and something hit you like a ton of bricks slams you right back to the bad ol' days?
Flashbacks...what a feeling
by SPAZnik 6 Replies latest jw friends
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tall penguin
Yup. More often than I'd like. Mostly memories of the jc I went thru this time 8 years ago. Still a trigger for me.
tall penguin
p.s. Just got the thread title. Witty. -
Brother Apostate
I didn't do acid when I was a dub, so, no.
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Hortensia
I flash back to old feelings - have to remind myself that they are just memories and I have control of my own life now. Old feelings like rejection and guilt and not being good enough ever for anything. Rejection especially is a trigger - have to work on that one.
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SPAZnik
Tall Penguin - :0)
Brother Apostate - I don't know what you're talking about. Does acid do that? I wonder how many were pill poppin' pioneers. haha
Buddy - Yeah. Other than the occasional bizarre dream about being at a convention or seeing people I once knew, I'm not plagued by this.
Hortensia - Sounds like you've got a handle on it! Good for you!!
Most of the time I basically forget I ever was a dub, and just do my thing.
On two separate occasions however, I unexpectedly came across one of those hard-ass chairs from the Kingdom Hall, you know the standard metal frame with brown or grey industrial carpet look (essentially). Once in a workplace environment and once while out shopping at a store. Both times seeing a Kingdom Hall chair just transported me involuntarily back and a flood of memories came crashing in. It was unnerving.
I never liked those chairs. They were uncomfortable as hell and sitting in them just irritated the hell outta me. -
nsrn
I have been out for all my adult life (I'm 45) but my elderly parents are ill, and I spend alot of time with them. I hear myself use jw-ese language easily and hand my dad the daily text at breakfast--it's a transport back in time to my childhood. Some good, some bad, but eerily familiar. They listen on the phone to the meetings, so I make sure I'm out of there before that issue arises.
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SPAZnik
nsm - awesome that you are there for your folks while maintaining your own boundaries - kudos