Rescued!!

by Chrissey 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Chrissey
    Chrissey

    I think its wonderful that there are so many who chose to tell their story here. Some are very similar, some very different, but no matter what the story is that is told one fact remains; lives will forever be changed, and must be lived.

    I'm no different than any other df'd Jdub. I was baptized at 15, quit public school and started regular pioneering. Married at 18, baby by 21, second by 24. I was sure the "end" was coming.

    We all have that "pivotal" point where we decide this "isnt" the 'truth' and begin the painful decent into "worldliness". My pivotal point lasted about 3 years.

    My mother brought me before the elders when I was 23 (already married for 5 years), accusing me of "disrespecting" her. She believed I should raise my daughter her mentally deranged way, with no regard to my motherhood talent. In front of *God*, the elders, my Dad, and my husband, she openly ranted that she should have gone in for that second abortion, or given me up for adoption instead of one of my brothers. (Thanks for the love, mother)

    Soon after this, my husband began his nightly log-in on the internet, and I could hear him enjoying his conversations....guess the limited type of sex the org lets you have wasnt enough for him, so he needed the online kind...
    I went to the elders, but, alas, this was 1993, and there was no WTBTS stand on internet sex.

    In 1994 my youngest brother was killed by a drunk driver. Timmy was on the way out. He enjoyed his girlfriend, and I was happy to see him when he was happy. The elders spent the days following his death telling us that Timmy would probably not be resurrected because he was doing wrong, they just never caught him. He was baptized.
    This was the last straw. My husband was turning into the most selfish b@stard on the planet. I would do all the research for his talks, write them up, and he would gripe about content...usually about 1/2 hour before time to leave for the meeting.

    As we all know, planning to leave is major planning. I had been a "good" witness girl, uneducated, no marketable skills, and never had a job....spent 4 months homeless living in my car....

    Fast forward to the present:
    I am now Vice President of a Nationwide Corporation, still disowned by my parents, fighting to see my babies whom I lost in a parentally funded custody battle, but, have a wonderful relationship with my "Sister". Life has handed us some obstacles, but the strength of each other to lean on is what gets us all thru it....

    Much Love to all Readers, and much affection to my sister...
    ~Chrissey~

  • Leander
    Leander

    Oh wow, Chrissey. I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the things you had to put up with in your family. I'm glad you're doing well enough to share your experience.

    I'm new to this board and I look forward to talking to you and others in the future

  • Tina
    Tina

    Hi Chrissy,
    I''m so sorry you went thru such emotional abuse!
    This is the first time(that I've seen anyway) that someone's mother said the same as mine! I used to get that'if I knew about abortion,you wouldn't be around' from my mom.
    That has to be the cruelest statement a parent can say to a child.
    I 'm sorry about your bro.and kids.
    You sound like a strong woman indeed! Welcome aboard!
    There is a topic on the main forum titled'Final Straw?' with experiences on leaving. Give it a read when time allows.
    Pleased to meet you CHrissy! regards,Tina

    'Boycott Shampoo! Demand the real Poo!

  • think41self
    think41self

    Hi Chrissey,

    Welcome to this board. I am so happy you decided to share your story with us. My heart just hurts like hell when I read what your own mother said to you in an attempt to control you. I had a stepdaughter who's natural mother said similar things to her. She is 19 now and such a tortured individual. It would take years of therapy to help her sort out all the mental abuse her mother put her through.

    You sound like a truly strong person, not only did you overcome that, but you were able to go on with your life, leave your loser husband, and make something of yourself. I admire that. I think it is horrible that you had to lose custody of your kids to do that. My heart hurts for you again. Maybe one day you can take them on legally and get them back?

    I hope you stick around here, and share more of your experiences with us.

    think41self

    "Not believing is not the same as not knowing."

  • Chrissey
    Chrissey

    Thanks for the kind words to all. Feel free to send email to me personally. It was a bit of a conflict for me to even post here to begin with. There's not alot of anger that I harbor, nor any negative feelings. I *think* I have dealt with the df'ing and have moved on in life. Honestly, I was afraid that reading other postings, and hearing how so many are completely brainwashed would just fertilize the anger that I am sure us buried under here somewhere.
    So far, so good.
    I'm honored that you all decided to respond. Its kinda nice to have feelings validated, and find a group of people who truly know what we go thru when we leave "Hotel California" (you can check out, but you can never leave.)
    Thought I would share another story here:
    I transferred with my company to another city in February this year. I took my staff out to lunch one afternoon, and they were all sitting in my car talking about a client of ours, and the fact that they were JW's. They began discussing what exactly JW's believe, and I just kept my mouth shut. Never know if there is a JW in my midst! So, on and on they talked, when the one sitting in the front with me piped up and disagreed on a certain practice (birthdays are a no-no). The girls in the back argued with her, and she said, "I should know something about this,,,,I used to be one." Right about then, my foot found the brake pedal, and we came to a screeching halt. Of course, I was too shocked to drive very well...
    "Katie" was d'fed about a year ago, and we have become close "sistahs" these past months. She is about 10 years younger than I, so she sees me more of an older sistah figure.
    The 9-11 events affected her, and she got alot of "you need to come back, cant you see this is fulfilling bible prophesy" in the days that followed. She came to my house, and I fed her "Crisis of Conscience", and "Behind the Watchtower Curtain". She's pretty stoked about associating with a bonafide "apostate"
    I will keep you posted on her progress, and look forward to her post here one day = )
    ~Chrissey~

  • yrs2long
    yrs2long

    Chrissey,

    Thanks so much for sharing. I really gain strength reading of the "real" experiences of my fellow sisters and brothers. I, at times feel lost and overwhelmed at the loss of my system of beliefs and I feel very down about facing it alone. This board has been a lifeline over the past week and a half. I am sorry about the situation with your children. I haven't had any due to my prolonged wait on Jehovah to clear up my situation. I am happy for you to have found someone near you with whom to share your feelings and yet, at the same time, I feel a twinge of jealousy. There really isn't anyone near me who can relate to what I am going through, almost like a grieving process. Take care and I look forward to more of your warm and encouraging responses. I also look forward to hearing from your 'sistah'.

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Chrissey,

    Welcome to the board. I read your posts and please keep sharing!

    I'm sorry about your Mom and your husband (or is it ex?). You've been through alot. Makes me think of the old song title "Where is the love?"

    Very sincere sympathy on the loss of your brother.

    Also looking forward to your friend posting.

    Yrs2long,

    ****************I haven't had any due to my prolonged wait on Jehovah to clear up my situation****************

    If you would like to share sometime we are here to listen and comfort if we can.

    minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

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