"Unofficial" disfellowshipping?

by Rethinking 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Rethinking

  Have any of you or anyone you know been "unofficially" disfellowshipped? Or has anyone on here who is/ was an elder "unofficially" disfellowshipped anyone? For lack of a better term. What I mean is the elders just can't find anything to disfellowship you on so they resort to lies and making up stuff to other publishers so that they, in fact, "shun" you. They want you to leave, do or say something that "warrants" a disfellowshipping but you just keep your cool which inevitably angers them and they just get worse and worse with the lies.

  I ask this because I know of this occuring and just would like to see just how far elders, greedy with power, would go or have gone.

  By the way, while I was typing, I forgot the 's' in disfellowshipping. When I went back to proofread, it read 'disfellowhipping. I think that is quite appropriate because that is what it actually is.
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  Chameleon

  I guess being "marked" counts as an unofficial DFing.
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  Clyde and I have been friends with a brother who has been in the borg for over 50 years. He was instrumental in establishing a congregation in our area, contributing heavily to its construction. He raised five children, four who remained "zealous in the truth." He no longer serves as an elder because of a misunderstanding a few years ago, but he remains an active publisher--about 30 hours a month and attends all meetings unless he's under the weather. He is in his 80's and is now a widower. Since his children all live out of town, the man was lonely. Clyde was very diligent in calling him and looking in on him. They would go for walks in the mall for exercise and occasionally go out to eat. His daughters looked in on him now and then, but mostly he was ignored.

  Well guess what, two elders half his age called him into a meeting and counselled him to stop association with Clyde because he was "too negative." Now he doesn't come to our home anymore, and he doesn't go walking with Clyde. However, they still talk on the phone, and occasionally they arrange to "accidentally" bump into one another at a restaurant. I feel sorry for him that he felt obligated to obey, but can't really blame him. It's hard to change at that age.

  Guess you can say that Clyde is "unofficially disfellowshipped."
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  blondie

  If a marking talk is given by an elder at the service meeting, although no names are given, it is official. But there is a "personal" sort of marking that the WTS gives individual JWs while at the same time cautioning that it should be used just because of personality differences. But after 50 years attending meetings in various congregations, many JWs looooooooooove to personally mark people and then share their judgment with other JWs. Imagine if an elder's wife said to another sister who is trying to fit into the social circle:

  "I know Sister DressesTooNice hasn't been marked, my husband and I don't feel she is good association for our teenage daughters. We have decided not to invite her to any of our social functions."

  You know Sister WantsToBeIncluded will now not invite Sister Dresses... to any of her social dos and will not let her daughters associate with her. And so it goes.

  Blondie
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  Xena

  My oldest sister "disfellowshiped me in her heart" so I guess that is unoffical disfellowshiping.
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  greendawn

  Let's not forget that it was in 1981 with the mutiny at Bethel that the GB went really hardline with DFing and came up with the still current policy which destroyed so many families. As for marking and DFing it depends how vicious the members of a congo are and what sort of scores they have to settle with fellow members. In the congo I was in I can't imagine the elders running out innocent dubs.
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  skeptic1914

  The elders in my cong are aware that I don't subscribe anymore to certain WT teachings and that this is why I can no longer in good conscience preach the [JW] "Kingdom message". I,ve been inactive for over 3 yrs. They also know I continue to work for an xjw. Not "just" xjw but an "apostate" who, by the way, is now pastor of a community church in his locality. He used to be PO in my very cong and everybody knows him.

  Is it any wonder then that, while everyone is cordial to me at the KH (I attend a couple times a month with my inactive but still believing wife) NO ONE has any social contact with us or calls to see how we are (save 1 or 2). I've never been told if they had a "marking" talk for me. Whether or not they did the result is the same. I call it shunning with a small "s".

  Skeptic1914
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  MeneMene

  In 1985 my elder father and the rest of the JW family did their unofficial DF when my male friend moved into my home with me.
  The relationship only lasted about a year and once he moved out the shunning stopped and everything went back to 'normal'.
  
  They still try to get me to watch their WT videos and try to give me the mags occasionally but I have always declined. They haven't pushed going to the meetings in a very long time. I told my mother about 15 years ago she was brainwashed by the WTS. She still talked to me.
  
  They have not shunned others in the family that have been DFed so they are a little more liberal in their old age than many I read about here.