They're baaaack! J.W. urban legends

by NikL 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • NikL
    NikL

    Got a e mail today full of urban legends J.W. style. The heading is "Jehovah knows what's going on". Take a look at this self rightous self serving crap... DOES JEHOVAH KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, AND DOES HE HELP? 1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall In Australia, where one brother was killed, was meant to kill everyone, and would have; but the bomb rolled backwards so the force or the blast was away from the friends, ratherthan aimed at them 2. A new Hall was built in Brooklyn. However, a large tree was inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot, and a city ordinance forbade it's removal. That night, a storm blew it down, and it conveniently fell in the middle of the street. No harm came to the Hall. Because it blocked the street, the city of New York had to remove it, at no expense to the brothers. 3. In Florida, a Hall building was delayed, because the basement hadn't been back filled and the brothers had no means to do so. While the inspectors were at the site, a bulldozer showed up, did the job, and drove off. He returned to tell his boss he'd finished the job at the Hall. The boss replied, "Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!" The job was done at no expense to the brothers. 4. The brothers were building a 2-day project, and were short of roof trusses. None could be obtained for 3 days. Nearby, a semi truck overturned, blocking traffic. What was it carrying? Trusses! The police wanted them removed. The brothers moved in and hauled them away. Although some were damaged, enough were gathered to finish the project, at no cost to the brothers 5. A Hall project was planned on an island. However, no sand was available for the mortar. (Many of these islands are formed from coral.). The only sand was on property owned by the Catholic priest, and he wouldn't sell to the brothers. A storm came up and washed the sand from the priest's land to where it was available to the friends. The project was completed, and everyone was happy but the priest. 6. In Poland, where the work is done underground, 3 elders were working on a country road. The sky was cloudy. Suddenly a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. The other 2 hurriedly hid his body in the bushes, to go and remove literature, etc. from his home before the officials came. They take over any possessions they find and give them to whomever they feel can use them. Among his possessions were found a complete list of all the Witnesses from miles around. He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police. As Bro. Lauriz says, if these hadn't come from Bethel, we'd never believe them. 7. In a country where the work is banned, a Brother was trying to get through a series of roadblocks, with the trunk of his car loaded with literature. He was stopped by a policeman who asked him if he would take him to a certain destination as his car was broke down. The Brother agreed, the policeman got in the car, took his policeman's hat off and put it on the dashboard of the car as they drove along. They passed through five roadblocks and each time they were waved to go on through because of the policeman being with him. When they reached the end, the policeman thanked him and got out. The Brother asked him what the roadblocks were for and he said, "Oh, those Jehovah's Witnesses try to get through with their literature and this is set up to stop them." So he had escorted the Brother right through with his literature, (Told by Bro. Spangenberg, C. 0.) 8. A Brother going door to door met a man who said very emphatically he was not interested. He said to the Bro. "Tell it to the dog!" So the Bro. did. He gave the whole Sermon, read the scriptures, and presented the WT subscription, when he got through, he looked up at the man and said, "Well, the dog says yes." The man said "If the dog says yes, then I'll take it." So he placed the subscription. This was told by Brother Carrie Barber. (Gov. Body) Rejoice in the hope. Endure under tribulation. Persevere in prayer. -Romans 12:12 9. Here is one I can add. In West Valley City, Utah, a new Kingdom Hall was planned. Funds were short. The brothers heard of an IRS auction of property in an ideal location. The date of the auction the presiding overseer went to the site, county court house steps. A minimum bid was announced, $14,500.00. Our brother raised his hand. No one of the many gathered there offered any bids. The congregation got the property, then sold off a piece of it for $14,500.00. Net result...property paid for at no cost to the brothers aside from clean up. How do I know? I was in that congregation at the time. Bob Weyer

  • NikL
    NikL

    My fist post got all jacked up so I am reposting to make it easier to read...maybe

    Got a e mail today full of urban legends J.W. style. The heading is "Jehovah knows what's going on". Take a look at this self rightous self serving crap...

    DOES JEHOVAH KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, AND DOES HE HELP?

    1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall In Australia, where one brother was killed, was meant to kill everyone, and would have; but the bomb rolled backwards so the force or the blast was away from the friends, ratherthan aimed at them

    2. A new Hall was built in Brooklyn. However, a large tree was inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot, and a city ordinance forbade it's removal. That night, a storm blew it down, and it conveniently fell in the middle of the street. No harm came to the Hall. Because it blocked the street, the city of New York had to remove it, at no expense to the brothers.

    3. In Florida, a Hall building was delayed, because the basement hadn't been back filled and the brothers had no means to do so. While the inspectors were at the site, a bulldozer showed up, did the job, and drove off. He returned to tell his boss he'd finished the job at the Hall. The boss replied, "Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!" The job was done at no expense to the brothers.

    4. The brothers were building a 2-day project, and were short of roof trusses. None could be obtained for 3 days. Nearby, a semi truck overturned, blocking traffic. What was it carrying? Trusses! The police wanted them removed. The brothers moved in and hauled them away. Although some were damaged, enough were gathered to finish the project, at no cost to the brothers

    5. A Hall project was planned on an island. However, no sand was available for the mortar. (Many of these islands are formed from coral.). The only sand was on property owned by the Catholic priest, and he wouldn't sell to the brothers. A storm came up and washed the sand from the priest's land to where it was available to the friends. The project was completed, and everyone was happy but the priest.

    6. In Poland, where the work is done underground, 3 elders were working on a country road. The sky was cloudy. Suddenly a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. The other 2 hurriedly hid his body in the bushes, to go and remove literature, etc. from his home before the officials came. They take over any possessions they find and give them to whomever they feel can use them. Among his possessions were found a complete list of all
    the Witnesses from miles around. He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police. As Bro. Lauriz says, if these hadn't come from Bethel, we'd never believe them.

    7. In a country where the work is banned, a Brother was trying to get through a series of roadblocks, with the trunk of his car loaded with literature. He was stopped by a policeman who asked him if he would take him to a certain destination as his car was broke down. The Brother agreed, the policeman got in the car, took his policeman's hat off and put it on the dashboard of the car as they drove along. They passed through five roadblocks and each time they were waved to go on through because of the policeman being with him. When they reached the end, the policeman
    thanked him and got out. The Brother asked him what the roadblocks were for and he said, "Oh, those Jehovah's Witnesses try to get through with
    their literature and this is set up to stop them." So he had escorted the Brother right through with his literature, (Told by Bro. Spangenberg, C. 0.)

    8. A Brother going door to door met a man who said very emphatically he was not interested. He said to the Bro. "Tell it to the dog!" So the Bro. did. He gave the whole Sermon, read the scriptures, and presented the WT subscription, when he got through, he looked up at the man and said, "Well, the dog says yes." The man said "If the dog says yes, then I'll take it." So he placed the subscription. This was told by Brother Carrie Barber. (Gov. Body) Rejoice in the hope. Endure under tribulation. Persevere in prayer. -Romans 12:12

    9. Here is one I can add. In West Valley City, Utah, a new Kingdom Hall was planned. Funds were short. The brothers heard of an IRS auction of property in an ideal location. The date of the auction the presiding overseer went to the site, county court house steps. A minimum bid was
    announced, $14,500.00. Our brother raised his hand. No one of the many gathered there offered any bids. The congregation got the property,
    then sold off a piece of it for $14,500.00. Net result...property paid for at no cost to the brothers aside from clean up. How do I know? I was in that congregation at the time.
    Bob Weyer

  • Mystla
    Mystla

    Oh brother!!!!!

    Mall not Hall??? for cryin out loud!! Who believes this bs??? Even as a witless I rolled my eyes over most of these kinds of stories!!

    So glad I don't have to listen to sister zealous repeat them all to the car group tomorrow!

    Misty

  • undercover
    undercover

    I remember those (except for the last one)...

    I think a Bethel biggie read those off at the end of a District convention one year.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Great - so now we have two identical thread titles - I am too confused for this.........lol

    Jeff

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall In Australia, where one brother was killed, was meant to kill everyone, and would have; but the bomb rolled backwards so the force or the blast was away from the friends, ratherthan aimed at them

    That one guy was "weak in the truth." Jehovah allowed him to die.

    2. A new Hall was built in Brooklyn. However, a large tree was inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot, and a city ordinance forbade it's removal. That night, a storm blew it down, and it conveniently fell in the middle of the street. No harm came to the Hall. Because it blocked the street, the city of New York had to remove it, at no expense to the brothers.

    That extra space in the lot, and removing those pesky leaves are so important for a new hall- Jehovah hates trees.

    3. In Florida, a Hall building was delayed, because the basement hadn't been back filled and the brothers had no means to do so. While the inspectors were at the site, a bulldozer showed up, did the job, and drove off. He returned to tell his boss he'd finished the job at the Hall. The boss replied, "Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!" The job was done at no expense to the brothers.

    I'm so glad that Jehovah uses such competent men to plan these thing, calculate the costs. The same men will be dishing out counsel.
    #4- Same.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    The trusses must have been of this sort:

    7.

    Med. an apparatus consisting of a pad usually supported by a belt for maintaining a hernia in a reduced state.

    Today's Dub simpletons are running on the same two-stroke brain cell that Judge Rutherford appealed to when he used a coal delivery as proof of Jesus approval.

    There's one born every minute, they say.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    6. In Poland, where the work is done underground, 3 elders were working on a country road. The sky was cloudy. Suddenly a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. The other 2 hurriedly hid his body in the bushes, to go and remove literature, etc. from his home before the officials came. They take over any possessions they find and give them to whomever they feel can use them. Among his possessions were found a complete list of all
    the Witnesses from miles around. He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police. As Bro. Lauriz says, if these hadn't come from Bethel, we'd never believe them.

    There's that Jehovah showing how he loves his people. He could have had Armageddon come, with this being one situation
    that made the Witnesses look vulnerable to Satan's world, but NO. He had to keep this system going, allowing the witnesses
    to keep waiting.

    7. In a country where the work is banned, a Brother was trying to get through a series of roadblocks, with the trunk of his car loaded with literature. ......

    Tell the audience more about WHY THEY DON'T WANT THE JW LITERATURE. This was started in Rutherford's day. Create
    a reason for the churches or the government to hate you, call their reaction persecution.

    8. A Brother going door to door met a man who said very emphatically he was not interested. He said to the Bro. "Tell it to the dog!"
    .............."Well, the dog says yes." The man said "If the dog says yes, then I'll take it." So he placed the subscription.

    "Placing" is shown to be the most important thing. Do you think the man will enjoy reading the mags and get a better
    relationship with God and Christ because of this?

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