What is your experience when a JW causes a potential convert to leave?

seatrout

Hi there,

I am attempting to get whatever insight I can for someone I care about. I am not a JW but the person who I care about is.

I'll explain why I do not know myself. I once was on the verge of becoming a JW myself and knew the JW I wanted to be with very well. I decided to break the news myself by making a telephone call. After making this contact it was made clear to me that she did not want any further contact. However, she did not get a chance to be told that I was being shepherded by a Pioneer, that I had attended meetings and I also did not speak to her direct (I spoke to one of her parents) and I hung up before I got a final answer (out of shock from what I heard). I never went back.

Since I now know that JW's are encouraged to report on each others behaviour, and this situation was witnessed by another JW, would she or would she not have been disciplined for this? if so, how serious an incident would this be and what would be the likely penalty/penalties be?

I am interested in hearing anyone experience, which can shed any light as to what happens in scenarios behind closed doors which are similar to this one. Any insight given will help the healing process.

Paralipomenon

Meh, unless there was a steamy sex story that went along with it, there's little chance she would have been disciplined. People having sex makes for very exciting judicial meetings. Someone eating too much, not so fun.

Good chance her parents gave her a stern talking to and forbid her to have any contact. I've read your story, and have one question. Were you two actually dating, or was this just someone you were interested in?

OnTheWayOut

Those jumping in to his thread, seatrout explained it in this thread- http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/131212/1.ashx

Please, seatrout, stay in THIS thread now so people can answer you. Post your replies in THIS thread and
everybody will be able to see the whole story.

I promise you all need to read his first thread if you intend to answer seatrout.

The woman is not in any trouble with her congregation because of you, as you described the story.
Share this with a therapist.

penny2

Hi seatrout and welcome to JWD. Hope we can help you here.

Please don't be offended, but you would not have been seen as a "potential convert". You would have been seen as someone who was interested only because you had your eye on one of the "sisters". You would have been thought of as a "worldly boy" who could corrupt this clean and moral witness.

This is a quote from a Watchtower article which may help you see how JWs view dating someone who shows interest but is not yet a JW (1 Nov 89, "Do Not Yoke Yourselves with Unbelievers"):

18 WhatifyouareattractedtosomeonewhoisstudyingtheBibleandattendingthemeetings,althoughheorsheisnotyetbaptized? We rejoice when anyone shows an interest in Bible truth. The question, though, is: Should you pursue your inclination? Frankly, the course of wisdom is to wait until some time after your friend is baptized and is making progress in displaying the fruits of God’s spirit before you date. (Galatians 5:22, 23) It may not be easy to apply such advice, but by doing so you will demonstrate devotion to Bible principles; this will lay a fine foundation for true happiness in marriage. If your friend genuinely cares for you and is truly coming to love Jehovah, no doubt he (or she) will be willing to wait until both of you are "in the Lord"—dedicated and baptized—before courting.

You would have to be a dedicated and baptized JW, attending 5 meetings a week and going from house to house approx 10 hours per month before she would even be able to think about courting you. PLEASE DO NOT PURSUE THIS PATH.

Even if you were a potential convert at the time, she would not have been disciplined. She may have been counselled for being friendly to you but seeing she overcame this successfully by rejecting you, she would then have been upheld as a good example.

Any strange behaviour on her part would have been because she was trying to hide her friendship with you from her family (severely frowned upon).

penny2

Abandoned

What is your experience when a JW causes a potential convert to leave?

The angels in heaven cheer.