The process of leaving the JWs cab be very different for many ex-JWs. There is no one formula that fits all. But here is what I learned and what I did:
1. Leaving the JWs involved learning about their false teachings and prophecies and fraudulent practices, and then making a plan to get out with my family together. [See this at: http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm] I also had to learn that I needed to "let go" of it, and finally put the organization behind me. This involved step one of forgiveness by not letting myself feel victimized by it, and not demand revenge. Step two, accepting an apology from the Watchtower, will likely never happen ... as the Society is just too proud. My Exit Story also details how I left ... I would link you to the story but I am about to publish the completed version with several more chapters and edits of existing chapters. So, I will post information about it when it becomes available.
2. Getting the Watchtower out of me. This was a shocking realization that hit me over the head about 7-years after I walked away. I did not realize how many unresolve issues and control mechanisms still plagued me. Once I discovered discussion boards, such as H20 and JWD, and let myself be open, vulberable, get hurt by some, and cause hurt to a few, then I began to purge the Watchtower. In the process, I gained some great friends. By talking out issues, and listening to the wisdom others, even some of the stinging statements, I think I finally learned what was healthy to retain and what I needed to purge that is JW related. There is no time limit on this process ... it is unique to each person ... and my time has finally arrived 15-years after I walked away in April-May 1992.
My upcoming book: How I completed the process and how I gained a sense of justice is detailed in my book that I will publish soon so that you can buy it if you wish. Yes, this is a shameless plug ... but, I feel that I have lived enough, learned enough, and shared enough to deserve making a book out of it all. We have all, in a sense, been denied justice or basic accountability by the way the Watchtower hurt us. But, in my book I will reveal some interesting and shocking details.
A parting point that is "not" a shameless plug: I stopped by the Catholic Church yesterday to check on the Easter schedule, and saw the phamplet called "Landings" which is a group to assist returning Catholics. While I am not promoting any denomination, I found the following regarding those who return to the Church to be rather a refreshing difference from what we might see coming from the Watchtower:
Landings is not:Landings is: People in solidarity with the returning: who in their [own] lives have [also] "returned," and continued to "return." Founded on the belief that we do not have to be trained theologians to share what we believe, and to speak honestly about our faith, trusting in the Holy Spirit."
- The "saved welcoming sinners
- People pressuring others to return
- Full of answers to teach the unenlightened
- Blind to the hurt the Church may have caused someone ...
The Roman Catholic Church has problems, and I do not agree with 100% of what they teach. But, I do find the above approach a rather humble recognition by the Church of the hurts is caused and an inviting way to deal with those who may return to the Church. Clearly, it is far better than what I experienced as a JW. I have yet to attend this program, because I have not had the time ... and ... there is no obligation ... that is the beauty of finally having purged the Watchtower out of my mind, heart, and my very soul.
Next is Count-Down 7: Self Awareness and the Soul ... to be posted in the next few days or when I get around to it.
Jim Whitney