Taliban/Osama jokes

by BoozeRunner 6 Replies latest social humour

• 

  BoozeRunner

  Q:Why does Osama always carry a piece of shit in his pocket?
  A: It's his photo ID

  Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
  A: Nothing, yet.

  Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
  A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

  Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
  A: Duck

  Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
  A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

  Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
  A: So they can see their Air Force.

  Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
  A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

  Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of shit?
  A: the bucket

  Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
  A: Two days.

  Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat shit sandwiches?
  A: they can't stand bread

  Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
  A: because the camels can't handle it

  Boozy
• 

  TR

  LOL Boozy!

  I have a moral question for you.
  
  This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is important to decide what
  you would do.
  The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in
  progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and
  structures destroyed.
  Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news
  service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You
  come across Osama Bin Laden who
  has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a
  tree limb and is about to go under, You can either put down your camera
  and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he
  loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think
  carefully before you answer the question below: > > > >

  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  Which lens would you use?

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
• 

  TR

  New TV schedule for the week

  MONDAYS:
  > > 8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
  > > 8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
  > > 9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
  > > 9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
  > > 10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
  > >
  > >TUESDAYS:
  > > 8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
  > > 8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
  > > 9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest
  > >Things"
  > > 9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
  > > 10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
  > >WEDNESDAYS:
  > > 8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
  > > 8:30 - "When Northern Alliance Attack"
  > > 9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
  > > 9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
  > > 10:00 - "Veilwatch"
  > >
  > >THURSDAYS:
  > > 8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
  > > 8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
  > > 9:00 - "Veronicas Closet - cFull of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
  > >and Veils"
  > > 9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
  > > 10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"
  > >
  > >FRIDAYS:
  > > 8:00 - "Judge Laden"
  > > 8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
  > > 9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"
  > > 9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
  > > 0:00 - "No-witness News"

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
• 

  JanH

  A hilarious one I just received, though it's prolly old: http://yonkis.ya.com/imagenes5/guerra/talibamm.htm

  "come mr taliban turn over bin laden". sound & picture.

  I didn't know Dubya had rhythm...

  - Jan
  --
  "Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets
• 

  Tatiana

  What Osama reads.......

  April

  "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
• 

  TR

  THE GREAT WALL --An American Dream !!!!!
  > >
  > >Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and "Uncle Sam" are out walking
  > >together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
  > >"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says
  > >theGenie.
  > >The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
  >also
  > >farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of
  >the
  > >Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for
  >farming.
  > >Osama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan,
  >so
  > >that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
  > >Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around
  > >Afganistan.
  > >"Uncle Sam" (A former Air Force Airfield Manager), asks, "I'm very
  > >curious.Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well,
  > >it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the
  > >country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
  > >
  > >"Uncle Sam" says "Fill it with water!"

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
• 

  Sirona

  What do Osama Bin Laden and Nylon Knickers have in common?
  >
  >
  >
  >
  >
  >
  They both irritate Bush.

  Sirona