A few tidbits of knowledge from my congregation

by TooBad TooSad 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • TooBad TooSad
    TooBad TooSad

    When one comes to the realization that the WTBS is not even close to being the true religion,

    sitting thru the mind numbing and butt numbing meetings can be painful and unbearable. I get

    thru them by laughing to myself at what is said from the platform and from the audience. I am

    going to give you some examples of the pearls of knowledge that oozes from my congregation.

    1. "Jesus was the organizations first Special Pioneer."

    2. "Jehovah's Witnesses are the fastest growing religion in America." (I drive by 3 churchs going

    to the meetings. Two of them are growing so much that they have two services on Sunday morning

    because there is not enough seats for everyone. There were 30 empty seats in the hall when this

    comment was made.)

    3. "We know that we have Jehovah's blessing because of our growth and how the churches are

    losing members."

    4. "We look forward to Armageddon and being ushered into a paradise earth." (When a disaster hits

    a part of the world, it takes years to clear away the rubble and rebuild and that is with the help of

    the government with heavy machinery. How are all of the window washers we have going to clear

    away the debris and dead bodies without bull dozers, dump trucks, etc.? Perhaps gasoline will

    magically appear in gas cans. Dead bodies strewn every where, buildings toppled, no electicity

    no food is not what I would call being "ushered into paradise".)

    5. "If we think that the angles are busy now with directing the preaching work, just wait until the near

    future when they help God at Armegeddon." (Every body really loved that comment and there were

    lots of nodding heads. How morbid can people be to look forward to the destruction of 99.9% of the

    world?)

    These wonderful thought provoking comments were in a 10 day period.

  • found-my-way
    found-my-way

    LOL

    Morons.

  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    Lately I've been hearing this remark from the ones in the congregation: "We are living at the very end of the final part of the last days."

    Geez, how close to the end can you get?

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

  • heathen
    heathen
    "We know that we have Jehovah's blessing because of our growth and how the churches are

    losing members."

    Yah and they kick them out just as fast and most people refuse to be humiliated with shunning for 6 months. I agree that their idea of spending a thousand years cleaning up after God kills everbody and destroys the world is ridiculous. That's one hell of a paradise they have there.

  • zeroday
    zeroday
    "We are living at the very end of the final part of the last days."

    One of my favorites:

    "We are in the last days of the last days".

  • zeroday
    zeroday
    spending a thousand years cleaning up after God kills everbody and destroys the world is ridiculous

    Then he is going to do it again...

  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    When one comes to the realization that the WTBS is not even close to being the true religion,

    sitting thru the mind numbing and butt numbing meetings can be painful and unbearable. I get

    thru them by laughing to myself at what is said from the platform and from the audience

    The last few months I went to meetings, I no longer believed the bullshit coming from the platform
    and in the publications. I hung around for a while to pi$$ the elders off a little, by not going on the
    ministry and turning in reports with 0 hours etc on them. I also hoped to lure a few more out of the
    org.

    "Jehovah's Witnesses are the fastest growing religion in America."

    I'd be tempted to ask for statistics to back that assertion up. Then again, maybe they still have
    plenty of kids of jws to blackmail into baptism. That seems to account for a lot of their growth
    these days

  • DJK
    DJK

    I remember the butt numbing meeting's, I learned how to sleep with my eye's open.

    1. Was he a democrat or a republican when he was voted in?

    2. I go to Dunkin Donut's 1.5 miles from my house and pass four church's. The nearsest kingdum hall is 20 miles.

    3. Proof that when religion becomes unbelievable, people turn to drug's and then become JWs because it's FREE rehab.

    4. Suicide is quicker if you want to escape the wickedness and pain experienced in life.

    5. There not angels. They are survivors from Revelation 18:2

    5A. Excuse MY rant, I'm on my fourth beer this morning. Who luvs ya?

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